QuestionQUESTION: hi
My name is tanya and i was married for the past 3 and half years. my husband and i had lots of issues and we have applied for divorce now. i am 12 weeks pregnant. he is not ready to take responsibility and even i will not be in a position to take the responsibility as i am not settled in life and i dont have any background support from my family. i want to terminate this abortion but i am scared as i've had 1 abortion before. i wish to move on in life... please suggest... i visited a doctor yesterday with my mom she has asked me to take a scan and also blood test.. i am scared where she will deny my abortion... i am 25 years old.
ANSWER: Hello, tanya,
I am really sorry to hear of your pending divorce and your husband's irresponsibility.
At 12 weeks, using pills won't be an option. Surgical abortion is dangerous. It can kill you, or leave you seriously disabled. It can also harm your future children, if you have some. Also, complications are common. Do you have the money to pay for medical care if you have a complication?
It would be much better to have your baby, and then give him or her to Mother Teresa's group. There is also an organization that can help with whatever needs you have. The Catholic Hospital Association provides help. Here is their web site.
http://chai-india.org/
They have a branch in Tamil Nadu. Call the Delhi office, and they should be able to direct you: 23257354.
Since you have had an abortion before, you know it is not a trivial thing to do. You deserve better. Contact CHAI, and they can help you find a better answer. Please let me know how things go. Please stay safe!
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Hello
I've visited a doctor a well known gyneac and she has agreed to do the abortion, she a doctor who had treated my mom too, its a surgery and she has explained the consequences as well. My family feels that i need to go for it and they are ready to support me now.. With god's grace just hoping things go well and when we took a scan on Saturday the fetus was 11 weeks + days... so guess i should be ok.. she has given me some tablets now....
thank you....
ANSWER: Hello, tanya,
You need to go to a decent doctor IMMEDIATELY. Your family doesn't have to live with the medical consequences of abortion, you do. They have no business trying to encourage this. Do you have the money to pay for medical care if you have complications?
God made your baby. Your baby is created in God's image. He gave your baby to you as a gift. We don't know why, and you may not know for awhile. But God gives grace to those who welcome His gifts. Only God has a right to decide when He wants your baby to come Home to be with Him. Your baby doesn't deserve to be punished for your husband's misbehavior. Neither do you.
If you haven't taken the tablets, please don't. Abortion ALWAYS harms a woman's body. Surgical abortion can also harm your future children. It can cause serious birth defects such as cerebral palsy, epilepsy, mental retardation, autism, blindness, and deafness. It can cause you to experience miscarriages or tubal pregnancy, or life-threatening complications while giving birth in the future.
Please contact the Catholic Hospital Association of India immediately. They will help you. I have their phone number: 0431-2680695 Their email address is chattry@eth.net .
Please don't do this!!! Keep in touch.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Hello,
I am sorry but i saw ur reply very very late and they performed an abortion already... i went to my family doctor only and explained the situation to her and she took all precautions and did it to me.. She has given me medication as well so that i dont have complications in future...
I am doing fine now with regards to my health as my mom is taking good care of me and giving me the diet which the doctor had prescribed....
I am fine and thank you so much for ur guidance... the problem with me now i am scared about everyone... really scared to meet new people... even at work.... just hoping that i get over this soon and my divorce will also be done with within this year...
Thanks
tanya
AnswerHello, tanya,
I am sorry to hear what you have been through. I wish I could have been of more help to you.
Your fears are not surprising. Emotional consequences with abortion are common. Go ahead and contact the people at the phone number I gave you. They should have counseling services available. You need to heal emotionally and spiritually. Don't wait. Some women suffer for years, and that isn't necessary. God is ready to forgive, and you need His love more than ever. You may feel like being angry with the people who helped coerce you into abortion, or performed it. It is OK to be angry, but you will need to make the decision to forgive them. You may not feel like it. Forgive them anyway. And forgive yourself.
I will keep you in my prayers. I will also be here for you any time you need to talk. Please take care of yourself.
