Navigating Early Marriage Challenges: Communication & Conflict Resolution

Question
My husband and I have been married 3 months.  Before our wedding we moved in with my parents to save money for a house and for their help with the wedding.  Since then my husband and I have been having some of the worst arguments ever (we've been dating 4 yrs).  Anyway, we knew it was going to be a struggle living with them, but in the long run it would help us.  He has a short temper at times and is not a good communicator(he keeps me guessing a lot).  He's the youngest of four.  I am the oldest of three.  i tend to be very nurturing and communicate very well.  Okay, so sometimes we get very angry with eachother and threaten each other with leaving or divorce.  We say very awful things about each other just to hurt the other person.  Then my parents get involved (more so my mom than my dad).  It is very embarrassing for me but not at all for him.  Then he argues that I care more about my image and what others think.  SO, now we are very close to buying our own home.  I am afraid this behavior from both of us will continue.  We have never been like this before the marriage started and now that we have begun, I think we will be more likely to do it more often and worse.  I feel like we're in a crazy cycle.  We refuse to go to counseling.  I would love to go on a couples retreat, but they are so expensive.  We try to read self-help books, and quit half way through.  What do we do before we get too far and begin hating eachother and divorcing?  We truly want to be together forever.

Answer
Well as quickly as possible you have to get to the root of the problem and I would suggest a third party of some sort help, could be a priest if you don't have $ for a counselor. It could just be living with parents but may be something more, especially since it's happened this soon. Each should make a list of what they want changed, and then work through this list getting consensus and making the changes before real damage can take place. It isn't usual or normal to have this problem after 3 months of marriage.

Bill