Navigating Inter-Caste Relationships: A Guide for Young Adults

Question
Hi,

I am Silpa from India.I am loving one guy since one year.But my parents are not accepting because we are of different castes.His parents have accepted.For my parents the problem is prestige issue.When i spoke to them they told that we can not live happily in the society and it is against to our tradition.When my lover came to my house to speak to my parents they didnot allow him into our house and they gave warning that they will kill him if he talks or see me.

      I love my parents equally and i also love him so much.Now i am very depressed situation as my parents are stubborn and not understanding us.We both are well settled too..Please tell me what can i do

Answer
Hi Silpa,

You may have some difficulty finding answers to your question because in North America, we do not subscribe to arranged marriages or anything that disallows freedom of choice like you do in India.   Anyone saying that they will kill someone else for speaking to them would have grave problems with the law here and in most places in the world for that matter. Are your parents right?  Not in my mind, but then we live in a free society here.  In their mind they are right to think the way they do, as that is the social structure of your society and it will be maintained until such time as your own people decide to change it.  Are you perhaps one of those people?  Maybe so, but it is a dangerous thing to attempt in my mind.

Your parents will do as they were taught to do, and until a generation brings about change, your frustrations will be those of many more young ladies in your part of the world. I hope that one day that will change for you and for the sake of your children.

Until then, it would be difficult to anyone here in North America to advise you of any action as it may cause even greater distress to your parents.


Good luck to you Silpa,




kind regards,

Don.