QuestionMe and my husband both want kids, but my husband does, albeit in a slightly odd way... he wants me to "use my feminine wiles and sleep with whoever I fancy to get pregnant!"
He says that I should get pregnant by another guy - and said I should act on my attractiveness to other men, and that they should TRY to get me pregnant, and that he'd have the hot sex with me and not the boring procreation sex (his words, not mine). He also said to me that we could bring up whoever the other guy's child is as our own and the kid would never know. He's already abstained from sex until I do it. He said the biological father probably wouldn't want to see the kid anyway.
He said adoption was a bad idea, and that he would never want to adopt a child, he'd rather bring up another guy's child.
I said to him that was an awful, low idea, but he insisted it would make our relationship better.
No matter how much I try and convince him this is degrading, he's insistent about it and doesn't see it as cheating, which I definitely do. Ironically though, he wouldn't cheat on me, says cheating men are disgusting, does this make him a hypocrite?
I don't know why he has this idea - he's not impotent or anyhting like that, nor has he got erectile dysfunction either. It just sounds too odd for a guy to want his wife to get pregnant by another man.
Don't get me wrong, he's a lovely guy normally but this idea is causing stress for me, and it's not normally the type of thing he'd suggest.
The whole thing sounds too strange to me, what would you do in my situation?
AnswerDear Callie,
I thought I had heard everything until I read your letter. You have my deepest sympathies for having to even listen to your husband's request.
So, you ask what would I do in your situation? I would tell my husband, "Hell no!" It is clear that this man is thinking of himself and no one else. I can't begin to tell you the damage that this scenario would do to your child down the line should you decide to do this. I would also tell him to never mention it again. If he continues to abstain from relations with you for this reason, you would have reason to divorce him.
I imagine your husband is trying to live out a fantasy, but the sad thing is that it is at other people's expense. I don't have to tell you that he is a little bubble off center in this case. Are you sure this is the only area in which he veers off course from his "lovely" self?
I hope this helps. Stand firm on this, you'll be glad you did!
Doctor Becky
