QuestionQUESTION: I hope this question doesn't shock you but I am a gay man getting married next June. However, I have always dreamed of being a bride but have never had the courage to have a sex change. My wonderful partner asked me to marry him as a bride and would love to look as pretty as I can for him. We are having a private ceremony(no family and a few friends however),for I don't want a commotion.
My problems? I have a male body,38-35-39 thin build(148 lbs),large upper torso and short legs. I have somewhat muscular arms(compared to most women) and guess should hide them. I have pics in drag(w/o) makeup,but I don't want to show them here9I can send them if you need them).
What style of dress should i look into? I would appreciate any help you can offer,I understand if you have any issues with my request. Thanks
ANSWER: Hi Toni!
Thank you for your question, I will do my best to give you as much info as I can.
Firstly, congrats on your up-coming marriage!
I would suggest a couple dress styles to downplay the male body and slim down the muscular areas.
You will definitely want to steer clear of halter-style or strapless gowns as they will accentuate the shoulder areas, making them look more muscular and masculine. Full-skirted gowns (ballgown) style are also not recommended, especially if they have crinoline (netting) underneath, if you are short (you didn't mention your height).. instead, you will want to go with a more sheath styled dress, perhaps with a v-neck (creates vertical 'lines' and draws the eye vertically to create the illusion of height/slimness)
Here are some links to pictures to give you an idea of what I mean:
http://www.florasdresses.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/5e06319eda06f02
(The one above is long-sleeved with a flare at the end, which would help draw the eye away from the muscularity of the upper arm)
This one is also a nice sheath style dress, not as long as the previous example, but still offers a 3/4 length sleeve..
http://s2.hubimg.com/u/1562885_f520.jpg
This last example is another longer sleeved style, but still suitable for a spring wedding.
http://images.bizrate.com/resize?sq=500&uid=1599417525
I hope this visual examples will help you somewhat. Basically you will want to stay away from anything that gives you a strong horizontal line across the chest/upper body area.
By defining a vertical line (with sleeves, or a v-neck, or vertical ruffles) you will help draw attention away from the areas you want to downplay.
If I can be of any further assistance, please let me know!
Sincerely,
Melanie Lauren
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Thanks Melanie for the selections and advice. I do love the sheath style,especially the long sleeved,flared from Flora, but I have a few questions.
1)Can I trust online cos. to accurately get my dimensions right.I really don't know about getting it fitted in person, I doubt i'd find someone to do it(I'm lousy with tailoring).
2) Hose or no hose? Should I wear some kind of tights/panty hose? I, of course, will shave my legs for the day but wonder if I need/fashionable?
3) shoes,color matching and style choice. I am 5'9 and wear men's size 10.5 shoes,do they sell sizes that large?
Thanks soo much!
Toni
AnswerHi Again Toni!
I would be a bit hesitant, if it were me, to buy online, unless you know it is a reputable boutique you are dealing with. You will also need to gain the support of their sales rep to get good help from them. But, on the other hand, I can understand that it may be more difficult getting service in person at a salon..I'm also a bit biased, I guess, because I was a salon owner at one time and I really believe you need to try dresses on before you buy. Given that, however, most online retailers offer some sort of exchange/refund policy.. be sure to know what you're dealing with beforehand. (I sound like I'm talking in circles, and I apologize for that.. just trying to make you aware of all the possible options..#
Do you know anyone who can recommend a tailor or seamstress for you who would be open minded enough to work with you properly? That may be your best bet to get a great fit.
As you may already know, formal-wear tends to fit 'smaller' than regular street clothing. IE: when you normally wear a size 12 #for example, speaking in women's sizes#.. formal wear usually means a 14 or 16. This is because they are usually made overseas and are fitted to the smaller Asian frames.
Because you are also dealing with fitting a male body into a gown designed for a female body, you will need to be sure that other measurements are taken into consideration:
-From shoulder tip to shoulder tip, but across your back.
- Your 'bust' measurement sans bra... you can always get the bra to fit the gown later, but will need to be sure the broader back will fit the dress.
You will need to be sure whatever style gown you choose will fit the 'larger' measurement of your body. You're quite tall, so you will carry the gown well.
As for hose/no hose, you can really do either with a June wedding. If you have great legs and a nice tan, you could easily go without. Also consider your ceremony.. are you having it during the heat of the day or a more formal evening service? Beach wedding? No hose... Hose are horrifying to wear in the heat and are definitely more formal.. I would opt for comfort for a June wedding if you can get away with it.
Again, shoes to fit the occasion.. beach wedding.. you could go barefoot or with a sandal with low/no heel. More formal in a church/formal setting, a lower heel #not stiletto.. keep it 3" or under) in the same color as your gown. You can buy bridal shoes at most salons or on the Internet. Some are 'satin' and are colorable (dye). As for shoe size, there are some shoe charts on the 'net that give you the size comparison between mens', womens, US, European, etc. that you will have to reference.. just google shoe comparison charts and a whole bunch come up.
You can get women's shoes in large sizes, but the width may be an issue. You may have to find a shoe retailer who specializes in hard to fit sizing (wider widths, etc..) They usually are the more expensive shops, sadly. If you find that width is an issue, you may have more luck in a strappy shoe with an open toe.. also suited to a more casual, daytime event. Closed toes are more formal.
I hope that helps. If you need further help, contact me again!
Cheers!
Melanie
