QuestionHi Pat,
My story goes like this: ever since I got pregnant my ex boyfriend wasn't supportive nor honest. He did a lot of cruel things to me. As a result out of confusion,anger and emotional episodes I decided to have an abortion was almost 3 months that time but I didn't know. I took some cytotec and bled but fortunately the baby survived. I went to a specialist who said the baby looked ok also consulted other doctors and they said the baby can be fine although no one can guarantee that. Anyway I later confessed to my ex and he told me not to worry and that he would help me prepare a good start for the baby. I had saved about $800 and he lied to me about a business that would help my money multiply. Unfortunately I was too trusting I fell for his lies and gave him the money which he never returned. Now I'm almost 6 months and that money I needed to pay my rent,food,bills and medical aid for my baby but I don't have anything now. The law doesn't allow me to work when I am going to be 9 months so I will be out of work for 3 months. I don't even know how I am going to survive because my ex took my savings. I have been crying ever since I got pregnant Pat, because I took those pills and now I don't know if my baby is going to be normal. The other reason I cry is because of the treatment I still receive from my ex. I'm so disappointed because I expected him to be emotionally supportive and responsible. I'm so confused
AnswerHello, Mandy,
It's too bad you were involved with a scoundrel like that. If I were in your shoes, I would have nothing further to do with him. There are organizations in many parts of the world that will help a pregnant woman in your position. I was unable to find any in Iceland, but there may well be such organizations there. I recommend you find a local pro-life group and ask them. If that doesn't work, find a Catholic church and ask them. They should be able to help you with your financial issues. If this doesn't work, please let me know. Does your government offer any help to young mothers who have nothing? Are there any shelters where you can stay? Do you have a legal remedy to force your ex to pay back your money? Is there legal help available to those who cannot pay? Does the law require the father to provide child support? If you answer some of these questions, it may be helpful.
Businesses that multiply a person's money are almost always a scam. I haven't seen an exception yet. I can't tell you whether your ex even tried to invest in such a business, but even if he did, it was doomed to failure. So many people are scammed by such businesses that even honest and kind people get cheated.
If you took Cytotec at 3 months, the chance there will be any significant damage to your baby from taking it at that point is very, very small. Your baby was already completely formed several weeks before. All Cytotec does is cause a woman to bleed and experience cramping. Since it didn't cause you to lose your baby, the setback was very minor. I hope you will be able to put aside your fears. Nobody can guarantee an outcome for any baby, because things naturally occur. However, the likelihood that there is any serious damage is quite small, and it is normal for a mother to worry about the baby she cannot yet see. Many women do worry. The best antidote I know is to turn to God in prayer. He can sustain and strengthen you emotionally and spiritually.
I will keep you in my prayers. Let's continue to talk. I don't have all the answers at this point, but I will keep my eyes and ears open. See if you can get answers to the questions I asked, and let me know what you find out. I will continue to try to find out what I can. I have also emailed an organization that may have some information. Hang in there. God loves you, and if you place your trust in Him, He will help you. It may not seem obvious how or when, but I have experienced extreme conditions, and He has always come through for me. He likes to wait until the last minute quite often so you know clearly He did it, and you have had time to get closer to Him. Please take care.
