Pregnancy Test Timing: Understanding Early Detection & Irregular Cycles

Question
Hi I'm sorry I'm emailing you so much but your soo great at responding so quickly and your very helpful ANYWAYS I have a few more questions to ask you.  Ok well I have a VERY irregular period and so I don't know when I ovulate and so I dont know when I could get pregnant and I dont know when I miss my period so to take pregnancy tests I have to go by days after conception.  I was wondering if I took a first response early pregnancy test 17 days after conception if that would be able to be accurate.  It says you can test five days before a missed period so I'm guessing it would be ok.  The days apart between my last 3 periods have been 28,24,20, and now its been 31 days since my last period which was May 27 and I still have not gotten it.  If I am pregnant I would be aboud 2 weeks, would I have any pregnancy symptoms this early?  My boobs havent hurt at all like they usually do before I get my period but I have been feeling bloated for the past week.  As I told you in an earlier email I havent even had sex yet we just fool around so maybe i'm just too worried.  I guess my main questions are- How many days after conception can i take an EARLY response preg test, and what symptoms I would have at 2 weeks.  I was also wondering exactly how many women you have delt with that have gotten pregnant without actually having intercourse and I was wondering if there was any medication (besides birthcontrol) that I can go on to regulate my periods. Thanks so much! Please respond ASAP!

Answer
If your last period started on May 27, and you have not had your period yet, a pregnancy test should be accurate at this time.  If it is positive, you are actually 4 weeks pregnant (but only 2 weeks from conception). We count the weeks of pregnancy from the first day of your last period, not from the day you conceived. I know it sounds silly, but that is the way we do it.  I have had only around ten patients who became pregnant without actually having intercourse or who have become pregnant if their partner tried to withdraw prior to ejaculation. There are no methods other than birth control that will regulate your period. Birth control pills or the Patch are the safest and best methods for regulation of your period. In addition to preventing pregnancy, they eliminate iron deficiency anemia, pelvic inflammatory disease, lower the risk of ovarin and uterine cancer, and get rid of pain with your periods. They lower the incidence of acne, as well.