QuestionHi Brenda,
I've had four pregnancies: the first two were uncomplicated and I have two daughters, 2 and 3 and a half; the third pregnancy I lost at 16 weeks and the fourth, I lost at 18 weeks. I did not receive an autopsy on my babies, but there were no APPARENT causes. I'm told what happened to me is quite rare. Both of the babies that died were boys. My husband has a son from a previous relationship, so he is capable of having boys. Do you think i have a genetic issue here? I've been turned down for genetic testing by my provincial health system. They say I'm not high risk for a genetic problem. Do yu agree? My husband and I are scared about what might happen if I got pregnant again. Would the baby be born sick or handicapped? What have you seen in your experiences? I know that the one woman I've found that went through this same thing many years ago, went on to have healthy babies. I really want another child. but I'm so confused and in such anguish over this. It is a huge stress on my daily life. Can you give me any insight? I'm not asking you to say"go for it!" -just please outline the facts from what you've seen.
Thanks
Kristine
AnswerDear Kristine,
Well - I am by no stretch an expert in genetics. The ONLY real first-hand experience I have that closely relates to your situation is, coincidentally, my mother. She had me, 4 years later another girl, then about 5 years later miscarried a boy - late enough to know it was a boy, then one year after that had another girl, followed by another girl 13 months after that. (Yeah - I was a busy oldest sister!)
But...all of us were healthy and full-term, except for the boy, two before him and two after. It's one of those things that just happens. There may be an incompatability somewhere along the way - some strange fluke of nature. But we just won't know about it without becoming a guinnea pig and spending hundreds of thousands of dollars in scientific testing to know for sure. And in the end - will it really change anything?
If you want more children, and you have two healthy, beautiful daughters, the choice to try again at least deserves some consideration. I'm a true believer that they only come through us. We are given these gifts to nurture and raise and, though it doesn't always happen the way WE think it should, there is always a bigger picture.
I'm sorry that this answer isn't more specific to my "nursing" knowledge, but again, genetics is a complex field and is just not an area I have had an abundance of experience in.
Hope it helps! Be well.
Brenda
