QuestionHello, Mr. Cusumano,
I've been having a little trouble with this e-mail address. (JHarville71@aol.com) Sorry if I bugged you by re-sending a question. I've gotten lots of e-mail returned to me for no apparent reason, and some of the e-mail I've sent was never received, or sent more than once. However, Tech Support assures me the problem is solved. Again, sorry if I bugged you.
Regarding, my health...well, I'm confused. The way my primary care physician has been talking, sending me to a cancer specialist, and he seems so worried...I don't know. Why should I go through anything if all it's doing is delaying the inevitable? It's hard to type this. I've cried a lot today, thinking about my little baby girl. I don't like feeling this way, but can't help how I feel. My appointment with the oncologist is June 1st. I've never felt so confused, ever. And, I'll type this, something that I would never say aloud, as it would be impossible to say: I don't want to die. I'm not ready. Thanks for all your time. You're a good guy. You really are. Take care, ~~Jana
AnswerHi Jana,
If it is any consolation at all, you are going through the grieving process. These are normal emotions that you have to work through. Ultimately the pragmatic Jana will clear away all the self doubt and indecision as well as most of the overt fear, and she'll want to get on with fighting this. The urge to live and survive is a very strong one and it DOES help healing to be positive about what is coming up. By the way, saying out loud (even to the computer) that you don't want to die is a great step forward in dealing with this. Don't hold this stuff in.
There is no inevitable at this point because I don't believe that you've had a final diagnosis yet, have you? Once that is at hand, the odds of cure will be given to you and you can get on with treatment. With my cancer, I have been given an 85% cure with radiation. The other 15% is what has me nervous, but I'm lookin at the half full glass. You need to get to that point and you will once you've gained control of these overwhelming feelings.
By the way, I haven't had any problems with your email. It was AllExperts that sent me the question a second time. Not to worry.
Charles
