QuestionOn April 13th I had a medical Abortion. It was successful, and on april 19th I began using daily birth control. However on april 20th I was taken advantage of and so I took plan B. I am now worried the hormones/medicines will all interact and that I may be in danger of overdosing.
AnswerHi, britney,
I'll tell you my perspective. A medical abortion is overdosing! Obviously, adding to that isn't helpful.
Here's why I say that. The medical abortion disrupts your delicate hormonal balance. The second medication that is usually given is given off label. This means that the manufacturer says pregnant women should not take it. It is so powerful that it can kill within hours. Sometimes it causes contractions so severe they rupture the uterus, and there is no way to control them. If it is used vaginally, it can cause toxic shock syndrome.
All of this means that your current hormonal balance in your body is not what it should be. Just the birth control alone makes sure of that. Among other things, it changes the pH of the vagina and makes a woman more susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases.
Obviously, if you feel the need, you can continue to take the birth control. But you'd be doing your body a favor to get out of situations where the birth control is necessary. Don't go to a place, with a man, where sex is likely to happen. Don't go to a place where you will be taken advantage of. Obviously, this requires some thinking about your lifestyle. Obviously, women such as yourself pursue the particular lifestyle because it brings them something they want: pleasure, the physical touching they interpret as love, and other things. Sometimes it is a way to avoid an abusive situation. Now that you have experienced some of the consequences for yourself, it is a good idea to re-evaluate the value of the pleasure or other positive value you have been getting from your lifestyle.
Let me throw out a few thoughts.
You may be in a position where you didn't get the love at home that you really should have. A lot of women will look for that love when a man talks to them lovingly. But most of us don't understand how male sexuality works. We usually don't even understand our own. When a man makes loving talk, what he says is interpreted differently by the woman than by the man.
When a woman has sex, it causes her body to release hormones that result in her bonding with the man she had sex with. The man has no such hormones. So he can basically walk away from the situation. The woman can't. Most women are not even aware of the fact that their hormones cause bonding. When the man decides mentally that he's no longer interested, he WILL walk away. But because the woman has bonded, she thinks he has the same level of commitment she has. Most women don't realize that kind words are not the same as commitment. The result is that we're not doing ourselves any favors if we have sex with a man who is unwilling to make a commitment that has meaning (marriage). Obviously, it won't help a woman who didn't get love at home to have sex with a man who hasn't made a commitment. Each of us deserves a man who will cherish her and any babies she conceives. He has the responsibility to put the woman's interests ahead of his own. The woman is far more vulnerable to the consequences than he is.
If you have been going with a man who truly does not cherish you, and who even engaged in emotional abandonment when you got pregnant, you deserve better. The only way you will find a man who truly cherishes you is to break off with the man who doesn't. This will be emotionally painful because of the bond. But if you truly don't want to hurt yourself with hormones, it's important. A man who truly cherishes you won't ask for sex, or if he does, it's a test. Are you worthy of him? If you are, you will refuse. The dialog might go something like this. The man says, "If you love me, you will have sex with me." The answer should be "If you love me, you won't ask."
You have a right to protect your body from the consequences of momentary pleasure.
So here's what I suggest. Give your situation a lot of thought, and ask yourself what your long term goals are. If you want a man who will truly cherish you, you have to make yourself available. Don't be afraid that no one will want you. There are men who are looking for a virtuous woman, and they look for the beauty on the inside, not the beauty on the outside. Cultivate your inner beauty. Be kind toward all. Be faithful and diligent. Find a way to show love to those who need it: children, disabled people, and so forth. Even though you have a history of sex and abortion, you can do what I call secondary virginity. That's when you dedicate yourself to not having any more inappropriate sex.
If you simply want to worry about whether or not the hormones are messing up your body, but you feel the need to continue to take them, there's not much I can do to help. It is your decision. If you want to continue to live as you have, or if you feel you have noplace to go, noplace to live or something, and you aren't looking for alternatives, or you don't have a job, or your partner is providing for you, or any of that, still think about it. If you decide to talk to him about discontinuing the risky behavior, and he consents, you can use the time to get off hormones and learn to tell when you are fertile. Just don't place yourself in a position where you can be taken advantage of. Obviously if someone did that, they are in the wrong. But a prudent person will avoid situations where that might happen. If you do decide to learn how to tell when you are fertile, you can get information here:
http://fertilityuk.org/
You must chart faithfully, and it will not work if you are taking hormones of any kind.
One more thing: if you are taking birth control, and you need antibiotics, please be aware that antibiotics prevent birth control from working. Well, a second thing: condoms and withdrawal don't work.
Good luck, and please take care of yourself. Feel free to ask more questions if you need to.
