Inappropriate Touching During Massage: How to Respond & Set Boundaries

Question
I am not modest about nudity or my body when it comes to massage, but last time I recieved a massage, the therapist touched my penis several times, both through the drape, and bare.  I was covered at all times, but she went WAY up my thigh.  It was not sexual in nature, and I don't know if it was intentional, but I wanted some advice on how to address the touching.  Also, if it was accidental or incidental, should I say anything?

Answer
Hi Brett,

As a massage therapist I was taught that if you are to do a certain treatment near the gentils then you must first ask if your patient is ok with treatment in that are only after you explain to the patient what, where and why you are doing this treatment.  This is called informed consent.  If I have a patient who is not comfy with it and I believe that it needs to be done I will slowly work up to a comfort point.

I have worked on several men where I have come in contact within 2 inches of their genitals, but I have never touched them in any way.  I was taught to ask the men to "move themself over".  I do not watch as they do this, instead I turn my back and they tell me when they are comfortable.

Your therapist should not have touched you in this way.  I can see if the first time was an accident, but several times?  Come on something is going on here.  I would most definately say something as this situation is obviously making you uncomfortable.  Why should you have to be nervous about what an outcome could be of a massage treatment that is supposed to make you feel better?  Right?  

Ok so the next thing  is did she apologize for touching you?  If yes then she knows that she did something wrong.  If no then you need to investigate this situation.  She had no right touching you there, but it wasn't right and you should say something.  The other option is that you find yourself a new therapist.  As weird as some men find it I do recommend men as therapists.  My partner at my clinic is a male I graduated with and he is amazing.  If you are not comfy with a male therapist find another female.  If you choose to push this matter further you can talk to the association in which your therapist belongs to and file a complaint and they should investigate the matter.

Good luck and let me know if you need anything or have other questions, I'm here in you would like to talk more.


Zira