QuestionHello
I am 37, male, married 10 years.
I have noticed a change or trend in marriage which differs from what it used to be decades ago.
Back then, based on what I have heard through parents and older relatives, the wife was the one saying "yes dear". The husband was
the man of the house. Now, with newer marriages these days, more often than not, it is the husband saying "yes dear", and the wife is
doing her best to take over as the "man" of the house. You'll see many tv sitcoms joking about this, but it is no joke. It is reality. I
struggle with this, as well as most of my married male friends. How did this happen?
Was it the feminist movement? Was it the courts almost always giving the wife the children and house in a divorce, thus bringing fear
into the husbands' mind?
Please discuss.
Thank you.
AnswerDear Arty,
I appreciate you writing, but I'm not really sure what you are interested in learning. It sounds like you are concerned with some perceived shift in power or dominance that you thought you may have been entitled to.
"Yes, dear" is based either in fear, ignorance, avoidance, or manipultation if is is not a sincere agreement with one's spouse (regardless of sex). It is a sign of poor communication and an imbalance in the relationship.
Healthy relationships give credibility to each person's ideas, desires, and contributions to the partnership. In other words, it is important to have genuine respect for each other. Communication, compromise, and commitment are the key.
If you'd would like to discuss further please write back.
Respectfully,
Dr. Jill Morris
www.IntimacyMatters.com
