Choose activities the kids want to do: I have spent so much time and energy trying to push Emily into swimming, my sport of choice when I was her age. But she just never enjoyed it, and getting her to practice three times a week was an incredible challenge. It was expensive, time-consuming, and frustrating for everyone involved.
Once I got past my own ego, I realized I should be supporting what my children want to do and not what I think they should be doing. Then they become more invested and have more fun. Sounds obvious, right?
Just take a simple and honest approach with your kids. Sit down together and pick out the activities that they really want to do.
Limit activities: A self-diagnosed overachiever, I always wanted my children to have the opportunity to try and excel at everything. But the thing is, in addition to all of the "doing," they need time to just be kids. Just like I need a night (or two) to sit and watch reality television, they also need a night to eat junk food and relax.
Try to limit your kids to one after-school activity held no more than three times a week. This may be a harder decision for you than for your kids. We tend to want our children to be involved in everything and learn every skill and hone every talent available. But they just can't do everything, and downtime is both precious and important.
Choose activities that are close to home: In my family, we have a rule that we will never drive more than ten miles for any weekly activity. Any farther than a few miles, and the activity changes from fun to complicated and burdensome. Your time is valuable, so don't spend it on the road.
It might seem all right at first, but once you've made that same hour-long trip multiple times (and, let's not forget, hit the same Burger King drive-thru multiple times), the real value of the activity may not be what you were hoping for.
Teach your kids to entertain themselves: When I was a child, my sister and I spent a lot of time at the playground across the street from our apartment. We hung out, built creations from rocks and grass, and got really dirty. There weren't agendas, lessons, or formal structures to our activities. Sometimes there were other kids there, too, but a lot of the time, we just entertained ourselves.
Today, our children are so accustomed to having structured time at school and extracurricular activities that they can become dependent on us for direction and entertainment. But if you let go of the idea that you need to keep your kids entertained all the time, you will give them a chance to get creative and discover the world on their own.
Once you commit, attend what matters most: Emily loves when I watch her cheerleading practices. She likes that I see her perform the choreography, and I think it's fun to watch. Megan, on the other hand, could care less if I attended a single one of her volleyball practices--and she has more than three a week. In fact, she would probably rather I'm not there to hover. For Megan, the games, not practices, are what are important to her. That's perfectly fine--it allows Megan to cultivate her skills privately and build independence.
Being there for your kids when it matters most to them will let them know just how much you care.
Limit adult activities: The rituals that build closeness--bedtime stories, walks after dinner, playing games, and simply talking with your children--can't happen when you are not around. As a mom with many personal interests of my own, I have to fight the urge to overload myself.
I already have work during the day, but I also want to exercise and participate in my own hobbies. On top of that, I like being busy with my family on weekends and also want a bit of downtime. But with only 24 hours in a day, managing all of this can prove difficult, if not impossible.
In this aspect of life, I apply the same general guideline I established for my children's activities: I limit my activities, and for me, that means only one night of kickboxing per week (not four).
Learn to say "no": It feels like I'm asked to participate in everything, from sitting on parent advisory councils to organizing fundraising events. In the early years, my immediate response was always "yes"--until I realized just how exhausted I was. It is a rare working mother that
Samantha Knowles is the author of Working Mom Reviews. Learn techniques of Potty Training In Three Days Potty Training In Three Days, To know more about Project GoPro Review, click Project GoPro Review
