QuestionMy fiancee and I will be getting married in May 22, 2011. We just recently completed our Pre-Cana course, as part of the requirement to get married in our Catholic Church. As part of our 2 day course, we were scheduled for Oct/Nov 2011 NFP program, as part of the Pre-Cana course. I am extremely interested in this method. I gave birth to my son 6 years ago, when I was 19. After I gave birth, I immediately started contraceptives. I used the patch, but it left skin irritation, then switched to Yasmin which I used for 4 years, but then my doctor took me off of it because of the high percentage of damage it has been causing to women. I do understand, that any contraceptive can cause damage to the human body, and I am greatly concerned about it, especially since I have been on contraceptives for almost 7 years April of 2011. After my marriage in May of 2011, I do plan on practicing NFP, like most of us women, I need to get to know my body better. after 25 years I'm still trying. I have read one of your answers regarding how harmful contraceptives is for a woman, being that I have been on them for almost 7 years, will being on it for another 6 months make much of a difference? I'm desperate for an answer, I'm quite nervous.
With my entire lifestyle, having a 6 year old, and being a police officer, taking contraceptives has been best for me for quite sometime. So back to my question, can my body handle another 6 months before I begin practicing NFP?
Thank you so much.
AnswerDear Mayra: I thank you for taking the time and courage to ask this question. I have several concerns for you. Not just your physical well-being but your spiritual well-being are at stake here.
Consider that the steroid hormones in the contraceptive that you are using are very strong chemicals. Would you continue ingesting anything else once you found out it was bad for you? People avoid mercury in fish; trans-fats; sugar; etc. You can continue to take the risk but no one knows how much of any substance is going to be the tipping point for you. It is different for everyone. But it is incremental.
In my opinion, because of the risks, contraceptives are never the "best" thing for anyone. Not only are they not a healthy substance they are also insincere: you take something that makes your body think it's pregnant when it isn't - that's insincere. You think you are protected from unexpected pregnancy but that is not true and so you are lying to yourself. You are insincere with your fiance by giving him only part of your heart and withholding the part that is fruitful and that shares completely. That is the sin of contraceptives.
My suggestion, and I'm surprised your Catholic priest or deacon has not recommended this, is to abstain from sex from now until your wedding. Stop taking all your contraceptives and learn the NFP method with a clean heart and a clean body. The grace of the Sacrament of Marriage is not available to someone who is not in the state of grace - sex before marriage is a sin and therefore you should confess it and stop doing it until you are free to express your love completely with your husband.
NFP has a learning curve and discovering your own body's natural rhythm takes time after being on the pill for 7 years. You do not know yourself - and there is a need to develop a new communication style with your husband-to-be because he will have to be a partner with you in this new adventure of marriage and family life under the new way of loving that NFP is. It is not just a less risky way to prevent conception. It is a way of loving yourself and the man that God is giving you to help you get to heaven!!!
As a police officer you have and continue to learn everything you can about the risks in your line of work. I know you want to be safe when you are protecting the public from crime or danger. You should be just as diligent to protect unborn life and married love by learning everything you can about it and as soon as possible. No one knows how long they have on this earth or how long their body will stay healthy or how long they will be fertile or how long they will have their marriage. So live each day as if it were the last and love the most generous way you can. Withhold nothing of who you are and what you want between yourself and your fiance (except sex) until that day when you can freely and totally give yourselves to each other.
Take that NFP class this month, stop taking your contraceptives, go to confession and stay away from your fiance sexually but not emotionally and spiritually and intellectually. I am exciting to hear how this program works for you because God is there to help you and you can do it with Him but without Him you can do nothing!!!
Let me know what you decide. I shall be praying for you.
