QuestionQUESTION: Hello, I had unprotected sex with a female Jan 6th, 2007. I did not ejaculate in her. She was on the birth control pill. She had sex with someone new yrs eve/day more than once. She also had sex with a different person sometime after our encounter. She has been given a due date of Oct 16, 2007 by her Dr./Ultrasound Part of me says not to worry since the date does not point to me, but the other part is going crazy on the inside...What do you think?
ANSWER: If you did not ejaculate in her, it is unlikely that you are the father. However, it appears that her birth control didn't work very well in any case. A due date of October 16th would mean she most likely ovulated and conceived between January 19th and 25th. However, if she was not on her period when she had sexual relations with you (or if she did not have her period immediately after), it is possible she has irregular periods and therefore it is difficult to determine the date of her conception- it could have been any time in January because ultrasound estimates this early can be off by 2 or so weeks.
While there is less of a chance of being the father because you did not ejaculate in her, I wouldn't count it out entirely because you can get pregnant using the "pull out" method as some pre-ejaculate can contain fertile sperm. Unless you know she had a period after your encounter, I would put the chance of being slight but there. I also do not think it matters who she had sex with on new years eve/day because that would put her due date much earlier, even taking into account the ultrasound margin of error. I would think the person she had sex with after you would be the most likely candidate. However, just in case, you may want to consider having a paternity test done after the baby is born. I wouldn't worry about it at this point but it is a slight possibility just based on the little information I've been given.
Please let me know if I can help you further or with anything else.
Best wishes,
Helen =)
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QUESTION: Thank you so much for your answer. I have another question. I know that a female is going thru things I couldnt imagine while pregnant. She has said a series of things to me, that I dont know how to respond to. Here are some of the things she said:
She told me she liked the way I begged after I pleaded with her to not have the child.
She told me that if I married her she would have an abortion
She told me that if I commited suicide she would be at my funeral to collect my DNA so she could get her money
She told me her intentions were to have sex with me so I would be with her
She told me she didnt care about mens feelings and for me to walk away
She told me she wants to have a kid so she will never be lonely
she then told me she was having an abortion, but then she changed her mind
She told me that her first child she got pregnant while cheating on her boyfriend, and her second child was while she was being someones mistress...She also told me shes used to doing this by herself, and shes used to men not being there.
I am not judging her or anything but Im not sure of what to say to her at this point? You being a woman have any suggestions? When I asked her what her due date was, she asked me why I needed to know that? I know she has all the power in this situation, I am just not sure of what to say to her.
AnswerI advise you to get a lawyer immediately. This woman sounds like she is emotionally unstable. She also sounds manipulative and she may be using you to try to get child support. I would definitely retain a lawyer now and put in a court petition for a DNA test now before the baby is born. In addition, I would halt all contact with her and have her contact your lawyer from here on in order to protect yourself. When she contacts you next, simply say, "I'm sorry, but you need to talk to my laywer" and then give her your lawyer's name and phone number. Leave it at that and keep everything entirely professional.
In addition, if you are the father of the child, I strongly recommend seeking custody. You may also want to have your lawyer get a court-order to have her undergo a psychological evaluation to determine if she is a fit parent.
Best wishes to you,
Helen
