QuestionI'm 16 and just found out I'm pregnant. I've never really been for abortions, but not against them, either. I don't really know what to do, I don't talk to my parents anyway, and calling them and telling them I'm going to pop out a kid wont help our relationship. I have a friend that's bit older than me and went through the same thing when she was my age, but I just don't know.I haven't had a chance to tell her yet, and get her opinion, so here goes..
What do i do, do i have the abortion, or don't I?
AnswerThere are no easy answers to questions like these, because the answer needs to come from you.
It boils down to this: if you believe that a fetus is fully a human being, if you believe that therefore abortion is murder, and that it is a pregnant woman's duty to carry every pregnancy to term no matter how it affects her present and future, then your conscience is telling you not to have an abortion.
If you believe that the fetus is a part of your body until it is viable (able to survive outside the womb), and that YOU should be able to make the choice of whether to bear this fetus inside your body for nine whole months (at great and lasting physical, financial, psychological and emotional cost to you), then your conscience is telling you that it is all right to have an abortion if you wish.
Women have had abortions since the dawn of time, and opposition to abortion has existed for a long time, since the Middle Ages, at least. Christianity today is largely against abortion, but most other religions don't forbid it: for example, Hinduism, Islam, Taoism etc.
As you know from my profile, I have had an abortion myself in November '06. It was not an easy decision: I was not single, I was financially secure, most people would've considered me old enough and mature enough to have a child - and yet, *I* wasn't ready to have a baby. Only I knew the details of my life - I was not financially *independent* (different from being financially secure), I had not finished my studies yet, and having a baby now would have crippled my future for the next eighteen years at least. On one hand, I felt guilty for being 'selfish', but on the other, I knew it would seriously mess up the rest of my life.
At this point, one of the online websites I read, iamnotsorry.com, was extremely helpful. It told me that my life was NOT unimportant. A woman's years from her teens to her twenties are the single biggest predicter of what the rest of her life will be like. Will she study long enough to land an great job? Will she be financially independent? Will she be successful in her career? Will she reach higher up in a company's heirarchy later in life?
We count for something too. We shouldn't feel guilty or "selfish" for choosing what is best for US at the end of the day.
You may feel differently. For some people, the idea that a fetus is a whole, real person is so strong that even if they have an abortion, they feel guilty about it for the rest of their lives. One of the experts in this secion, Diane Cheryl, is such a person. Your internal beliefs can have a very strong impact on you. If you have such a belief, then my recommendation to you is that you don't have an abortion. Later, you may beat yourself up about it, you may feel extremely guilty, and you may not be able to forget it.
As for myself, I have absolutely no regrets about my abortion. The fetus at 6 weeks (which is when I aborted) is nothing more than a ball of cells. It has no personality, it is not a human being, even if it has the potential to become one. But then, every egg and every sperm has the potential to become a human being, so that means nothing. To me. How you feel about it may be different, and you need to make up your own mind.
Here are some questions which can help you decide:
1. If abortion is murder, does that mean women who get one should be criminally prosecuted and sent to prison?
2. Should people who murder pregnant women get double the sentence?
3. Should women be forced to give up at least nine months of their lives (and potentially 18 years of it) if they accidentally become pregnant?
4. Should women who are pregnant be allowed to kill their unborn babies just because they're scared of having a child?
5. Is a ball of cells truly human?
6. Should potential human beings be killed whenever the person carrying them so chooses?
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Each odd-numbered question is a pro-choice way of looking at the following even-numbered question (which is worded in a pro-life way). See which position you agree with. See how you truly feel about abortions. And then make your choice.
If you have any more questions, especially regarding abortion procedures, how it will feel, how much it will cost, whether it will hurt, and its side-effects, please write to me or Dr. Shan, the other expert who will give you straight information.
If you want the anti-abortion perspective, religious or "humanitarian" views on why you should continue with your pregnancy, you should ask Diane Cheryl or Rev. Kimberley Lemler.
