Navigating Pregnancy Concerns: Support & Advice for a Difficult Situation

Question
I am 37 years and I have had one miscarriage and one ectopic pregnancy and I am now 7 weeks pregnant and this will be my first child and my husband doesn't seems excited about the pregnancy now, because he has two grown children from a previous marriage and his daughter just recently had a baby @ nineteen years of age and he is more excited now about being a grandfather then being a father with my unborn child and I just don't know what to do. I have been concerning having an abortion and just because I have been going through so much trying to get pregnant at my age, now I feel like I am all alone during this pregnancy and I just don't know what to do at this point I know my own mother would kill me if I consider having and abortion because I am the only child and she wants to have a grandchild so badly and I just can't hurt her at this point in her life. I tried to do the right thing by getting married first before having a baby and now I found myself 37 years old and at a higher risk of having a baby. Please help I don't know what to do at this point in my life and my husband keep being in my ear talking about this is not the right time with the economy being bad to have a baby I think he is just using that as and excuse because he just don't want another child now that he is a grandfather, but yet and still he knew I was not on any birth control and yet he was still having sex with, so now it is my fault. I need help I am confuse because because I never thought this man of being together for eight years and married almost five years would treat me like this. What I am to DO!!!

Answer
Dear confused,
I usually just answer medical questions, and am not a trained therapist.  You might want to try going to prochoice.org and seeing if they can refer you to someone you could talk with.  It sounds like you have some very difficult decisions to make.  
I can say from my experience working with many women, that when it comes down to it, the decision is yours to make.  It is not uncommon for men to be ambivalent about the decision, or to have different feelings from yours.  You need to look at all of the possibilities - and not knowing what he will do - decide if you would want to be a single parent, and whether you can be excited about this pregnancy if the relationship were to end.  Once you have made that decision, then you can see how he responds, and whether he is someone you want to continue to be in a relationship with.  These situations are especially hard, because you are learning some difficult things about your husband, and having to make hard decisions at the same time.  It can make you feel very alone - but you are not.  Many women find themselves in this situation (I myself was unexpectedly a single parent with my first son in the middle of medical school). It helps to talk to other women.  
I hope this is helpful,
Doctor Joan