QuestionQUESTION: Dear Doc,
Hi. My Name is Shariff. My wife is pregnant with 8 - 9 weeks & its 18 mm.She is 23 years old.As we adopted for abortion.. Our Gynecologist first suggested the MTPill Tablets on 22nd of November & she said there would be bleeding & the abortion can be done through this & if on the 3rd day if still the PT test is +ve then Mistrophil tablets have to be used & wait for 14th day... My question is will it possibly done like this & its 2 days she has pain in stomach & there is no bleeding...
Could you plzz suggest what to do next ...or our doctor is also suggesting surgical which i don't want bcoz there may be complications in future.. So please suggest me....
ANSWER: Hello, Shariff,
Please know I am not a doctor. I am a person who has done a lot of research and talked to hundreds of women.
Unfortunately, medical abortions are NOT safe. And it is past the point where medical abortions will even work at 8 or 9 weeks. Your gynecologist sounds uninformed. I recommend you find someone else, someone who knows abortion isn't safe. The second course of pills is always recommended (though I don't recommend medical abortions at all). And if a woman is instructed to use the second course in her vagina, she should refuse. A woman can get toxic shock syndrome from using the pills vaginally, and that can kill within hours. The manufacturer has specifically stated they are not to be used by pregnant women. For one thing, they can cause uterine contractions so severe they can rupture the uterus, and this can also kill a woman.
The fact is, a woman's body was made to protect her baby, so the only way someone can do an abortion on her is to harm her body in some way. You already know that surgical abortions are dangerous. But medical abortions are too new and word about how dangerous they are hasn't gotten out yet.
I recommend you go to a doctor who will take care of both your wife and your child. If he treats your wife with progesterone, she can have a normal baby. Then if you still don't want the baby, choose adoption. It is so much safer. It is your responsibility to protect your wife. You need to take her to another doctor immediately. Right now, your wife is in danger.
Please let me know how this turns out. I will be thinking of you.
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QUESTION: Thanks you so much for the answer & surely try to visit another doctor..
we don't want a child now at early stage. we got married 1 year ago. but unfortunately due to unsafe measures she got pregnant. now when we have decided to quit the pregnancy, my doctor's second course which is oral not vaginal is necessary or not & is it normal that after taking till 3 tablets as advised in a single oral dose there is no bleeding since two days...bcoz in the mtpill prescription its clearly given that bleeding will be there..so what method would you suggest now for abortion and clear regarding the bleeding too.. thank you..
AnswerHello, Shariff,
You expressed concern about your wife getting hurt in your last message. That is the main thing that concerns me. She is too far along to use medical abortion effectively. That could well be why she isn't bleeding. Your baby is fully formed, but very small. It wouldn't be just blood. In other words, you already HAVE a child. The only question open to you is whether your wife will have a dead child or a living one. It's not natural for a woman to reject her child like that. It could destroy her emotionally, even if she doesn't seem to have any medical damage. And it might well cause her to develop breast cancer in her 40's. It could prevent her from having a normal pregnancy in the future. It could cause a future child to be damaged. For example, that child could have cerebral palsy. It's not worth it to take that kind of chance.
I think the choice you are seeking to make is between not having THIS child, and possibly losing your wife or any chance of having children in the future, or on the other hand, having a child before you are ready. We don't always get to choose when we will have children, and this could be the only child she ever conceives. Sometimes an abortion prevents a woman from ever getting pregnant again. You two are married. There's no reason not to have this baby. Seriously. If you need financial help or anything, let me know, because I know of resources that will help you.
Just so you know, I had my first child when we had been married only a year and three months. It's not too early to have a child.
Having an abortion will hurt your wife. I'm not going to help you hurt her. If you want someone to help you hurt your wife, please go talk to someone else. It is your responsibility to protect your wife. If you simply don't feel ready, let her have your baby, and then put him or her up for adoption. The other thing you have to be careful of is that she may be feeling she had no choice. It's very easy to make a woman feel that her child is unwanted. Women will do some pretty outrageous things to keep the peace. I don't think you can really tell how she feels as long as you are so dead set against having a child. I should also warn you that abortion often destroys a marriage.
Please keep in mind that most people don't feel positive about pregnancy during the first trimester, but most people are ready by the second trimester. We women are pregnant nine months for a reason. It takes us awhile to get ready to be mothers. It also takes men awhile to be ready to be fathers.
I can't force you to protect your wife and child, but I will not help you hurt them. Please think this over.
Take care.
