QuestionI had an abortion about a year ago, and now that I have broken up with my then boyfriend, he has been going around telling people that my claims about being pregnant was untrue. It is petty of him to do so, but now he wants proof that the abortion took place. He does not believe my brother that accompanied me to the clinic and says that he is lying for me. As much as I do not want to keep thinking about what happened, it hurts more to know that he thinks I am lying about it, and worse still, saying that to people who used to be my friends.
What I am wondering is, if I go to a clinic, is it possible for a doctor to find physical evidence that I had an abortion or was pregnant? I was about 10 weeks along when I had the abortion.
AnswerP.S. Thank you very much for the very kind rating!
It is unusual for a woman to WANT people to know she has had an abortion. So you're right about that. I did think of one other thing you can try. You can try getting a copy of your medical records from the place where you got the abortion. It isn't likely they still have the records, but you might "luck out." Let me know if you are able to do this.
Hi, carrielynn,
I don't know of a definitive way of telling. It's not the first time I have been asked that question. I can certainly understand your frustration. After all, you went through a lot, and for him to deny your experience is indeed petty. And it's sure "nice" of him to say your brother is lying. I would take that personally, myself.
I don't offhand know why these people USED to be your friends. Did it have to do with what your ex told them, or did it happen earlier? Since they are no longer your friends, maybe it's not TOO important. But that doesn't mean you don't have an emotional investment in wanting people to know the truth. If nothing else, your ex is attacking not only your brother's integrity, but yours. I am sorry.
One way that did occur to me is that they might be able to tell by doing a biopsy of your breast tissue. The cells begin to grow, and if the pregnancy is interrupted at 10 weeks, they will be only partly mature. This is why abortion gives rise to breast cancer, by the way. They might be able to examine them under a microscope and see that their growth is incomplete. That seems a little drastic, though. I don't offhand know of a doctor who would agree to biopsy your breast for that reason.
If your abortion caused any damage, it might be possible to observe it. If you had a surgical abortion, they had to force open your cervix. This causes microtears, and is a major reason why women who have had abortions have a much higher incidence of extremely premature births. Again, an examination under a microscope might provide evidence. Possibly looking around inside the uterus with a miniature camera might see scarring.
Another possibility that occurs to me is that it is known that the baby sends stem cells into the mother's blood stream. They deposit in various parts of the body, including the breasts and the brain. DNA differences might reveal their presence. Again, it would involve microscopic examination of tissue.
Wish I could be of more help, but people simply don't seem to talk about this problem, although I have been asked several times by a man who wants to know of his girlfriend. I usually tell them that if they don't trust their girlfriend, they should find someone else. But that's not really an answer, either.
I'll see if I can find out more. But no guarantees.
Probably the best thing to do is decide to let it go. If your current friends aren't being turned against you by this stuff, that is. It won't be easy, given all the emotional repercussions you are going through (and incidentally, I'll be here if you need to talk), but in the end, it will probably leave you more at peace, and that is desirable. Good luck!
