QuestionQUESTION: Well, im 17 years old and my last period was around April 25. Im late now and im having sore breast (it comes and goes)wake up shaky and nausia, and odd sensations in my abdomen. Im scared that I could be pregnant. Me and my boyfriend have been having unprotected sex a lot so i know theres a chance. Im taking a test in the next couple of days but Im a bit concerned, if I am pregnant... what do I do? I have thought about abortion. My boyfriends completely against it but Im worried if my body can even handle a baby. I have a week heart and although my cardiologist says that birth will not effect me im still skeptical. If I do keep the baby, then I would move in with my boyfriend. But Im leaning to the abortion. What do you think I should do? My parents would just get mad then drink then cry if they found out I was pregnant. So its not a , "I have to keep it away from them" issue. HELP! And I dont think I would ever be able to do adoption because I know the bond that grows when a woman is pregnant I wouldnt be able to give it up if I decided to not abort it. Advice, options, personal opinions, facts, anything will do!
ANSWER: Dawn,
I sent a "you're welcome" note, but because I have no idea what those notes are like, I wanted to also tell you here that you are very welcome. I am very happy for you! You both will be fine. Let me know how things go!
Hello, Dawn,
If you have a weak heart, it seems to me you would be especially in danger from abortion! Abortion is always dangerous and can kill you, but if you have some kind of medical problem, that just makes it that much worse!
I don't advise a woman get an abortion. It's too risky. There is too much chance things can go wrong. Thousands of women have been butchered by abortionists in the United States and have forfeited their lives. Millions have suffered long term damage.
I wouldn't advise you decide to pursue adoption at this point. And if you can't choose adoption, I perfectly understand (even as an adoptive parent of two, and adoptive grandmother of two). You are well aware of the bonding, unlike most women. What you probably are not aware of is that you are already bonded to your baby. It's subliminal at first. But you are weeks pregnant now, and your baby has been sending stem cells into your blood stream. Some of these have gone to your brain and stayed there. You also have a hormonal bond, which began when you first conceived; that's what stopped your period. And it does sound like you are pregnant. You definitely can take a pregnancy test at this point.
Believe me, if you do have an abortion, the bond you now have won't go away. And your weak heart may be the least of your worries! A woman who has an abortion has several times the risk of dying a violent death in the year following, as a woman who carries to term. I have actually sat up all night with women who became suicidal after abortion.
As for your weak heart, you have months to apply natural methods to strengthen your heart. And if you are able, I recommend you walk or swim, which will both strengthen your heart. This will make the birth easier. I can also offer some additional suggestions. Midwives use some of these techniques to good effect.
I think your parents will come around, from the sound of things. They usually do, anyway. I have one grandchild out of eight who was born to our unmarried son. He is just as precious as the others. I thanked his mother for protecting him and letting us be part of his life.
Yes, I think it might be wise to move in with your boyfriend. Why not get married? Is this someone you would like to marry? Does he want to marry you? Give it some thought. Rather than just moving in together, make a commitment to each other, one that means something. But if you have an abortion, your relationship will almost certainly break up. Your boyfriend has a right to protect his child, but legally his hands are tied. You will have to protect his baby, because you are the only one who can do it.
If you need help locating places where you can learn more about natural methods of strengthening the heart, let me know. But in the meantime, visit this site: http://www.drmercola.com/
There are other good sites as well. So let me know. And keep me informed of how you are doing. Please protect yourself and your baby!
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Took the test, pregnant. Im scared.
AnswerDawn,
I am very sorry about your fear. Please find a crisis pregnancy organization in your area. You can find one by going here:
http://pregnancycenters.org/
They also offer online counseling, and counseling by phone.
I will be here for you. Take one day at a time. You are a lot stronger than you think, and there is help available.
Have you looked into some natural ways to help strengthen your heart? I can look some more for you if you like. There are remedies that will help heal your heart.
I study taekwondo from an awesome teacher. She has a sixth degree black belt, and is the highest ranked female martial artist in our state. She had an infection as a teenager, and has to use a wheelchair. I saw her perform in it many times. The problem is her heart. When she stood up, her heart couldn't supply blood to her brain, so she would faint. Over the years, most of the time when she stood up, she would lean over, but now she can do an entire form standing up straight. The exercise over the years strengthened her heart.
You can also strengthen your heart.
My internet connection is about ready to quit for the afternoon, so I need to get this to you.
Take care!
