QuestionI don't know what to do, i found out that i was pregnant (i'm now 3 months preg) i'm still in school ( i have one more year left of university)i'm only 21 i have no job and only the money i have saved from summer jobs, i am still dependant on my parents, and my boyfriend doesn't really want to have a child now.
We are both on the fence about what to do; on the one hand we don't want to have an abortion because even though we are pro choice this is our baby we are talking about and now that we have seen it (we got an ultrasound done) the more realistic the little life is. But on the other hand we are not financially ready to have a kid.
its just so difficult we want the baby but on the other hand we know that it wouldn't be a good idea.
AnswerHi Elle,
Have you experienced all of the life that you want to or that you are okay without experiencing for the next 18 years? There are tons of things that once you have children, you will no longer be able to do much of.
Do you have support? Parenthood is 365 days a year, nonstop. No vacations, no sick days, not even a rest and relax day. Sure, you can include your children in fun activities and have fun with them, but they always require care no matter what the occasion. It's a lot easier if you know there are family members that are willing and able to step in and give you a break.
Will your boyfriend support you even though he doesn't want a child yet? Some people that maybe aren't 100% sure or that they don't want children and one parent ends up doing most or all of the work.
Have you considered your reasons for having a child?
Would you be able to raise a child on your own? Anything can happen. As much as you plan, ask questions and believe that you know the person you choose to have a child with, anything can happen in relationships and in life in general. Once you have a child, you are responsible no matter what and its best to be able to answer yes confidently to being able to handle it on your own if need be.
I had an abortion at 19 years old because I was studying to become a doctor and I knew if i had the baby then I never would be able to complete school. I'm not saying you should have an abortion, I'm just addressing things to consider before you make your decision. I wish you the best of luck with what ever you choose to do. If you need any further advice, email me again.
