QuestionHey there!
I am really hoping you can PLEASE help me out-somehow. I am currently 5mths pregnant, and I have been with the father of the baby since January of this year. We have decided to move in together a month ago so we can build our family together. The pregnancy of course, was unplanned! However we are both of age - I am 26 and he is 27. So as you can imagine a lot has been happening these past few months all at once.
My issue is - prior to getting pregnant, I was very loving, affectionate, and I was very into my boyfriend. I was happy! Now once I got pregnant, it feels like I am a different person. I get grossed out when he comes by me, I am not interested in being affectionate with him at all. I feel like I am ALWAYS MAD at something he is doing, or has done. I feel constantly on edge, and it is always leading to him. I cant even seem to enjoy my pregnancy because of this. Its almost a daily thing. At first I was hoping it would go away, and that it was just my hormones changing with the pregnancy. I work in a OBGYN office, so I am aware this can be a side effect. But I am well into the 2nd trimester, and it has not gone away. I am beginning to think it IS the relationship in general. I do not know how to fix this! I want it just to get better. I try and communicate things to him- but I am feeling it is one thing after another.
Any advice would be helpful- I dont want to stress anymore, and I do not want this pregnancy to be effected by this either. PLEASE HELP!
AnswerMy heart goes out to you, Sammy. I am not a biologist or a psychologist, but I would like to try to help. You already know that being pregnant does crazy things with your hormones. When something physiological (like hormones) changes how you feel, it's hard to get that it's not you who's changed, it's literally just your chemical make up. Try to remind yourself that some of your feelings--anxiety, irritability, disappointment--may simply be a chemical reaction, and not "real."
With feelings comes thoughts, and your thoughts have attached themselves automatically to what's wrong with your boyfriend. So you're wondering if there's a problem with him and with the relationship. If you try to talk with him about it he may end up saying just the wrong thing to you, which just makes you all the more upset, right?
The two of you are having a baby. I'd say that it would be a great gift to your baby if you did what you needed to do in order to keep your little family together. Please consider going to counseling with your boyfriend--and go in a spirit of togetherness and joy about the life you are bringing into this world. (If he won't go, please go yourself. But if you approach it as something you need help with--not to fix what seems wrong with him lately, he'll be more likely to agree, I think.) A therapist will be able to help you sort out your thoughts and feelings.
Meanwhile, take very good care of yourself. Good luck, dear.
