QuestionQUESTION: I can hardly find information on the effects of the abortion pill on
pregnancies afterwards. I've read it can damage eggs women are already
born with. I had 3 and was never informed of any dangers. What
damage have I done? I am currently I think 2 or 3 weeks pregnant. Just
realizing my actions may have endangered the health of this fetus. I'm
so upset and scared I am overwhelmed with anxiety and fear I just pray
God will spare my baby from suffering for my mistakes.
ANSWER: Hello, marie,
Like you, I have been unable to find any information on the effects of the abortion pill on future children. They're not investigating. I think they are afraid to. Abortionists are notorious for not obtaining informed consent for what they do to women.
How long has it been since your last abortion?
We will hope and pray they won't cause any damage to this child. I am keeping my eyes open for any information, but so far, I haven't found any. Talking to some people who are knowledgeable about this has also produced no information.
Try to leave it in God's hands. He has promised not to give us more than we can bear, but will provide a way out. It might be strength to deal with the problems, and I can tell you from experience this is very helpful. Worrying won't help your baby. Pray when you feel like worrying.
Please take care and keep in touch, and let me know how things go. Send me a picture of your baby when he or she is born!
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QUESTION: Dear Pat G,
First, thank you so much for your quick response. You're here in my time
of need. I'm all alone.
I'm 37 and this will be my first full term pregnancy.I was 23 when I had
my first abortion-surgical under twilight anesthesia. At 28, I miscarried
on a pregnancy I wanted to keep. I think too much stress. At 32 I had
my first medical abortion cause I was in a car accident when I found out
at the hospital I was pregnant. At 34 I had a medical abortion at 8
weeks cause my boyfriend was abusive and wasn't gonna stay with him.
I was scared and stupid with no support. A couple of months later I got
pregnant with him again and I had another. I can not forgive myself for
my decisions and choices and don't expect sympathy. Though I am
terrified for my baby. He shouldn't suffer. I'm afraid my age, first
pregnancy, and not being prepared nutritionally will not give my baby
the best odds. I refuse to abort this one and have decided to leave it in
the hands of God and that he has a plan for me and my boyfriend. What
do you think in your heart are the odds of my baby being ok? What steps
should I take now? I'm trying to minimize my stress and do what I need
to do from this point on physically, medically and emotionally to help my
baby be healthy.
ANSWER: Dear marie,
You are very welcome, and thank you for the rating and the very kind words.
A surgical abortion can cause problems in a future pregnancy. Be sure and tell your doctor about your medical history. He may want to fasten your cervix shut to protect this baby. The cervix will be reopened at the time of birth.
God wants you back. I don't know if He plans that you and your boyfriend should be together or anything. You will have to wait and see. A lot will depend on how your boyfriend reacts to the situation. Is he supportive? Is this someone different from the abusive one? Jesus has already died for you, and your abortions are paid for. Your babies are in Jesus' loving arms. They are at perfect peace, and they have forgiven you as well. All you have to do is ask for His forgiveness. Once you have done that, as an act of faith, decide to accept this also for yourself: forgive yourself. Forgiveness is a decision, not an emotion. You may need God's help to forgive yourself. Be sure and ask for it. Emotional and spiritual healing will greatly help your ability to be a good mother.
Something that may help your state of mind is phosphatidyl choline. It is a B vitamin. We are often low on B vitamins, and stress aggravates this problem. Phosphatidyl choline usually comes in about a gram size. B vitamins will not harm your baby. You should be taking vitamins anyway.
There may come a time when your doctor wants you to have tests because of your age. There is no reason for the tests other than to identify a baby with a problem, so the baby can be taken and not allowed to be born. Your peace of mind will be helped if you refuse. My sister faced this issue; she had a baby when she was about your age. I know you are aware that the incidence of disabilities is greater in babies born to older women. So here is what I want to tell you. God has chosen you to be the mother of this baby, and He will provide you with the grace to meet your baby's needs, whatever they are. Many disabilities are greatly feared. Don't be afraid. The child with a disability is usually very happy; it is the parents who get upset and fret over it.
I will give you an example of the possibilities. My sister's baby has Down Syndrome. He is a very special person, and I love him dearly. I was jealous that God gave him to her instead of me! He is now an adult, and he is just as special now as he was when he was born. Downs folks have unconditional love for everyone. If we could measure people's "love IQ", theirs would be off the scale. Also, there are early intervention programs that help greatly. The main problem I had with the resources available is that they assumed he would be retarded, and didn't help him develop his mind as they should have. I learned that the problem is not mental retardation as such. People with Downs are very laid back. It even shows up in the fact that their muscles are more relaxed. (If for some reason you have a child with this type of problem, I can tell you what to do about it.) They tend not to be curious the way most people are. This means that they aren't as responsive to their mothers. The result is that they get less feedback, and it is this exchange of communications that helps a child develop his brain. Children with Downs can be taught to be curious and to want to learn. The problem is that it's easier to kill their curiosity, and some therapists make the mistake of trying to push the child to be attentive for an entire hour. Ideally, the session stops when the therapist senses that the child will become tired soon, but is still interested. You can greatly lengthen a child's attention span by quitting just before he reaches the point he is no longer interested. I have a son with a learning disability, and when we had him tested, the tester said that he had no attention span. How wrong she was! She had a doll in her office, and allowed him to play with it. That's why he was no longer interested in the tests. But when I started to teach him to read when he was 4 1/2, I was able to get his attention span to the point where he was eager to work on it for an hour and a half, and we quit because I was tired. It took me about 6 months of daily sessions to teach him to read. He didn't learn in the same way as my other children. When he was older, I discovered he was having trouble reading polysyllabic words, so I taught him how to divide a word into syllables. I never provided any other help with reading. Now, as an adult, he can read medical books with impunity.
Because my nephew was constantly around people who talked to him, and because of his speech therapy, he developed unusual ability with languages. By the time he was 3 1/2, he had the language development of a 5 year old. I actually have a video of him having a philosophical discussion with his brother at that age. The therapists didn't believe he had this ability, and thought he had echolalia, which is what a parrot has! The school system failed to take advantage of his unusual abilities. However, when I visited him a couple of years ago, he was very interested in learning other languages. He wants to learn Spanish, and his mother wants to learn German, and so I helped him with both. We would also talk to each other in German over the supper table, mostly naming the objects and foods. By the time I left two weeks later, he was using short phrases in German. He also has learned a few signs in sign language. He also likes to learn how to say "Thank you" in as many languages as possible. That's not surprising, given his unconditional love. One time, we went to a Chinese restaurant, and he thanked the waiter in German. I told him he had to use Chinese, and reminded him of how to say it in Chinese. He did, and the waiter started talking to him in Chinese! That is one of my favorite memories.
The important point I want to make with all of this is that a child with a disability can be a great blessing, if you accept this. Each achievement is a cause for celebration. The child can have a good life, and sometimes the disability actually helps the child's emotional development and personality formation. The child also teaches the parents some vital lessons about love and compassion as well. My sister reaches out to parents with disabled children, and has been a great blessing to them as well.
So regardless of whether your child is born "perfect" or not, God has a plan for his or her life, and for yours. His plans are always far better than our own. If you rest in God's will, you will find it much easier to give up your terror and worry.
You would greatly benefit from counseling. This is provided by organizations that work with pregnant women, and most of the people who do this are women who have experienced abortion. You can find one near you by going to this web site:
http://www.pregnancycenters.org/
Please take care of yourself and your precious little one. Eat a nutritious diet and stay away from artificial things in your food. Please keep in touch. You may ask questions about the worries you have any time.
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QUESTION: Dear Pat,
I have another question about etopic pregnancy. What are symptoms?
The day I was to expect my period I wiped once and saw blood and that
was it. Then last night and today when I wiped there was a slight pink
tinge. I have been feeling something on my right side near where my
fallopian tube would be. Not pain but like an ovulation sensation. I have
been coughing a lot this week cause of the flu and been forcing a cough
to clear my secretions. The first day of my last pd was 7/3 and I think I
concieved the week of the 7/12. I heard some spotting is normal, but
never had any with my other pregnancies. Maybe I'm being paranoid.
None of the hospitals within 30 minutes have a maternity floor in case of
an emergency. Thank you again for your time.
AnswerDear marie,
Thank you very much for the rating and the kind words.
Some women do spot a little from implantation, and they may also spot or bleed during the normal time for a period. It's not common, but it does happen. It doesn't necessarily mean anything that you haven't had this experience in the past. I actually had some severe bleeding during one pregnancy. The baby wasn't healthy and didn't make it (a couple of months later), but I think the bleeding was a symptom rather than a cause.
Tubal pregnancy will involve feeling pain in the area where the Fallopian tube is. The appendix is also on the right side, and could be a problem. Just keep an eye on it. As long as all you are feeling is a sensation, rather than pain, I wouldn't worry about it. I had this sensation with each of my pregnancies, and it was how I knew so early I was pregnant. It is a result of the hormonal communications between the mother and the baby. It is your first bonding.
You don't need a maternity floor in case of a tubal pregnancy. You need surgical facilities. I assume hospitals near you have them.
Hopefully, things will go well for you, and you will have a beautiful baby in your arms soon. You are very welcome. Keep in touch!
