QuestionHi,
I am 29 years old.
I had an surgical abortion on the last year May. I think I did not come over the trauma of this. Everytime I see a baby or even advertisement, heared any use of delivery, I feel severely uncomfortable. I think that I will never be able to conceive further. Everytime I visit any doctor (s)he scolds me for aborting the first issue, and tells that it is very difficult to get pregnant after first issue abortion, I have to pay the price for that, etc. I feel uncomfortable in front of the people who know that I have gone through an abortion.Sometimes it is so difficult that I can't sleep, can't do any work. Now I want to conceive for last two months. I fear of loosing my fertility. But may be this is due to we are missing my fertile days. Actually when I got pregnant it was 8th day of my mensrual cycle (28 days). We tried on 10th day , 11 th day, 5th day like that. But never tried on 8th day. Somehow it didn't happen. Now for last two months I am noticing that my menstrual cycle has become 26 days atually. Is it normal? Should I consult any doctor? I fear to consult any doctor because they scold so much for an abortion. Can you please help?
AnswerHello, babuli,
It is quite common for women to react to an abortion the way you have. It makes sense, because abortion really violates a woman's body and her integrity. You could benefit from some counseling. There are not many organizations in India that provide this, but you can get it online if you go to this web site:
http://www.optionline.org/
They offer counseling by email.
I don't see the point in condemning you. You can't go back and "fix" it. You are going to condemn yourself more than anybody else can.
Approximately 10% of women who have an abortion will never conceive again. Add that to natural infertility (which is obviously not your problem), and it can be higher. Infertility can be caused by scar tissue blocking the Fallopian tubes, or as a result of an infection a woman got from the abortion.
Are you in a position to have a child? I know that in India there is strong condemnation of having a baby if a woman is not married. If you are in a position to have a child, this is a good thing, and I hope you will have one. I will tell you a little about fertility, which may make it easier for you to know what day you need to try for a baby. Ovulation occurs 14 days before a woman's next period (if it happens). This means that calculating the date from the last period can be somewhat difficult, because a woman's periods are often not regular. Even the 11th day may be too early for you to be fertile.
You start your cycle on the first day of bleeding. If you have a 28 day cycle, and you subtract 11 from that, you have 17 days. You would just barely possibly be fertile. If your period is now 26 days, that helps. But you aren't likely to get pregnant on the 8th day.
A woman is generally fertile for up to 3 days before and after she ovulates. If you start to examine the mucus from your cervix whenever you go to the bathroom, you can learn to tell when you are fertile. The mucus you need to look for is transparent and slippery, and stretches like a raw egg white. When you have this mucus, and if you ovulate, you can get pregnant.
I hope you are able to put the experiences you have had behind you. It is detrimental not to be able to sleep, and to let it affect your emotions. So please do get some counseling. I will also be here any time you need to talk. Please take care, and keep in touch.
