Surround yourself with other encouraging working mothers The winter talent show that my nine-year-old daughter Emily was performing in was scheduled for the same day I had to be out of town for a client presentation. Needless to say, I was devastated.
Emily had prepared and auditioned with a hula-hoop routine to a Taylor Swift song. We were thrilled when she made it, and she pranced around the house, practicing and replaying that song so many times, I think I could have done the routine myself, if only I'd had the moves. The talent show was incredibly important to her and I was so proud of her for mustering up the courage to get on stage in front of her friends, parents, and teachers.
But my company had been working on a very important deal for months. It was finally getting ready to close. The date had been fluctuating but the key players had finally committed to the date--on the same night of Emily's performance.
I needed to be with my co-workers, and I needed to be with my daughter--at exactly the same time.
In the weeks leading up to the talent show, every time Emily practiced her routine, I felt sick at the thought of telling her that Mom wouldn't be in the audience. What kind of mother was I?
A planner at heart, I developed a strategy: Scott would record it and play it back for me on our computer later that night. The grandparents would attend, and my sister would be there, too. Although all of this support was helpful, somehow it still wasn't enough. I just could not get over the guilty feeling I had about not being there. I felt completely alone in my pain.
Then I remembered that I am not alone.
I phoned Jill, a friend of mine and devoted mother of two who also has an intense travel schedule. She suggested that I attend the dress rehearsal. Why didn't I think of that?
So I sat in the auditorium and watched the dress rehearsal performance. Emily was adorable and so pleased to see me there. And to my complete surprise, there were three other working women in the audience with me! As it turns out, lots of parents travel and while they also could not be there for the big night, the dress rehearsal was a pretty good substitute. But I never would have thought of it without Jill.
One of the very best ways to alleviate working mom guilt is to get to know other women just like you. No one but another working mom understands how hard it is to keep yourself together during a big meeting when your child has something special going on at school or is home sick with the flu.
Build yourself a support network of other working mom friends--it will be invaluable. These women can help you much more than you might think: brainstorming creative solutions to scheduling problems, listening to each other's struggles, and celebrating each other's successes. Foster these special relationships and you will find unique encouragement, support, and most importantly, friendship.
Samantha Knowles is the author of Working Mom Reviews. To know more about how to dealing with toddler behavior check out Talking to Toddlers Review. To learn tips to renew the spark of your relationship - quickly check out Text the Romance Back Review.
