I was 15 when I got my first job. Back then, I didn't know where or how far my career would go. But I knew, even then, that I would always work.
I'm grateful that I can say my time spent working has been the evolvement of a purpose--not just a job. But people often wonder why I find such pride in my work. How did I get to the point where I want to work? Why do I put so much stock in my career? Some suggest that the reason is because I, myself, grew up in a working mother home. And while it is true that the story of my mother's work life certainly did shape my career, it was not in the way one would think.
My mother grew up in a traditional home and wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. She did not have career aspirations. She did not want to accomplish anything extraordinary professionally. And she did not concern herself with finding purposeful work. Her vision was much different: she wanted to get married and spend her time nurturing her family. I very much wish she could have had this. It would have made her happy--and our family too.
My parents divorced when I was five. My mother became single almost overnight, abolishing her dream of being a stay-at-home mom. The memories I have of this time are not happy ones. I remember my mother crying a lot and pacing in our tiny two-bedroom home. She was constantly leaning on me, just a child, to help her figure out what to do next. She spent an enormous amount of time reflecting on the past: what hadn't worked, the mistakes she had made, and replaying over and over what she should have done differently so that we wouldn't be where we were at that moment. Nothing was ever good. We were always looking back and regretting--or looking forward with fear. My mother was not a proud working mom. She was distracted, resentful and, unfortunately, never fully present. One household suddenly broken into two meant we struggled financially. We resorted to unconventional ways to make ends meet. We took in boarders to live in our basement. We searched under vending machines for spare change. We cut coupons, and wore hand-me-down clothing. It was out of control and uncertain. For a child, this can be scary, for a parent it can be too.
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