Questionhi,
I AM 25 YRS OF AGE.I HAV A PROPOSAL OF A 40 YEAR OLD MAN AND ALSO HE HAS DIVORCED HIS WIFE.THEY LIV IN ANOTHER COUNTRY.SO V R NOT SURE WHETHER THEY R LIEING OR TELLIN THE TRUTH.THEY SAID THE GAL WAS IMMATURE AND HE LEFT HER WITHIN 2 MONTHS.THEIR AUNT WHO BROUGHT THE PROPOSAL TOLD US THAT THE GAL WAS NOT IMMATURE AND SHE HAS NOW KIDS AND IS HAPPILY MARRIED TO SOME OTHER GUY.V ASKED THE FAMILY TO GIV US THE ADDRESS OF THE GAL SO THEY SAID THAT V R NOT LIEING AND V WON'T GIV U THE ADDRESS AS THE GAL'S FAMILY WOULD ;LIE.I
HAV 2 DAYS TO GIV MY ANSWER,MY FATHER HAS REFUSED TO ALL THE PROPOSALS EARLIER AND NOW I THINK THIS ONE CAME AFTER A LONG TIME.I ALSO HAV A COUSIN WHO WANTS TO MARRY ME BUT THRU SOME CONTACTS WID HIM I HAV DOUBTS THAT THAT GUY IS INTO GALS,SO I REFUSED TO MARRY HIM AND HE IS ABUSIVE ALSO AND NOT RICH ENOUGH BUT HE IS ALSO 25.NOW I DUNNO WAT TO DO COZ MY PARENTS ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN THEMSELVES.THEY DONT CARE WHETHER I GET MARRIED OR NOT.SHALL I SAY NO TO HIM COZ I DUNNO ANYTHING ABOUT HIM AND WAIT FOR SOME GOOD PROPOSAL OR SHALL I GET MARRIED COZ I HAV NEVER BEEN A BAD PERSON .I M AFRAIDTO SUFFER ANYTHIN COZ MAYBE THE WIFE HAS LIVED FOR MORE TIME AND MAYBE HE HAS KIDS OR MAYBE HE HAS SOME PHYSICAL PROBLEM .I'M A
GOOD GAL,VERY ISLAMIC,NEVER TALKED TO MEN,AND ALSO DON'T GO OUT MUCH.THIS PROPOSAL FAMILY SAID THAT THE (ISTIKHARA)(ISLAMIC WAY THAT DETERMINES THAT UR DECISION IS RITE) IS VERY GOOD AND THEY R INSISTING US TO MARRY THEIR SON.PLZ SUGGEST SOME IDEA COZ I DUNNO IS IT OK TO MARRY A 40 YEAR OLD RICH MAN WHOM I KNOW NOTHIN ABOUT OR SHALL I MARRY MY COUSIN WHO IS MY SAME AGE ,POOR AND ALSO ABUSIVE.I LVE IN ASIAN COUNTRY AND IM 25 I HAV TO GET MARRIED COZ THERES NO OTHER WAY.
THANX IN ADVANCE
AnswerDear Xenia,
Thank you for contacting allexperts.com. I hope that I can assist you with your question.
You have a very difficult choice to make. Since you are of another faith and culture, it is very difficult for me to give you advice based upon my knowledge. It is my understanding that in your country there are clerics (men of faith), who interpret the Koran (Q'ran) to determine what is the right choice to make.
Since you state that you are a faithful Muslim, I would advise you to either visit a cleric yourself (if this is allowed for women), or ask your father or another male to visit him to obtain the direction that your faith dictates in order to make this decision.
I believe that if you put your trust in the guidance of your faith that you will be given the information that you need to make the right choice.
Happiness be with you. I hope that this situation comes to a joyful conclusion for you.
R.M. French
