Paternity Concerns: Understanding Potential Biological Indicators

Question
My wife cheated on me with a black man and does not know witch of us is the father.  Now here is the dilemma when the baby was born it had a head full of black hair but looked white other than the nail bed were more of a purplish brown than pink.  i was just wondering are there any tell tale signs that i can look for.  I have noticed over the past week that her eyes have gone from blue to hazel (both my wife and myself have blue eyes as do all of my other children it is a very dominant gene on my paternal side).  The other thing that i have noticed is that her hair while a little curly in the beginning has now gotten very very kinky curly. Her skin color is a little bit darker than all other white babies i have seen but i am a dark complected person myself.  Is there any way other than the DNA test or just waiting to see.  Oh one other characteristic that was diff. when she was born is she had dark hair over much of her body.  A whole lot more than any baby i have ever seen.  can you please help i am going out of my mind wondering.  Not that it matters as i have decided to raise her as my own no matter what the outcome.  I just have to know is she mine or his.

Answer
Dear James,

Here's a shocker for you... there have been situations of couples who are blonde and blue eyed who end up having a child who have the appearance of a black child. Upon further investigation (and I'm sure many accusations flying around), it was actually the child of couple, however somewhere several generations back during the days of slavery there had been an indiscretion and a mixing of the races. So, although a gene may not be dominant, it can still be present within a family chain and show up anywhere along the way - even several generations later.

Here's the deal - you won't know for sure without a DNA test and if you intend to love this baby girl and raise her as your own regardless of which tiny little sperm cell started the whole thing... what does it really matter right now? If you do push the issue, the result may or may not affect the way you look at her for her entire life. That is a heavy cross for a little girl to bear. And children notice the difference in a parent's look - even if they ACT as equal as possible. Do you want to take that chance? Or do you just want to love her and hug her and be thankful that you have been given the blessing of her that another may be missing? I say - count your blessings.

I hope this has helped you and answered your question. I wish you well.

Brenda