Understanding Low Libido: Causes, Solutions & When to Seek Help

Question
Hi Brenda:

I hope you can help me out!  When I was pregnant with my son almost three years ago, my libido was super high.  Now I'm pregnant with a girl, and my libido is zero.  I noticed that after delivering my son, I'm not as interested in sex as I used to be...my sex drive is just completely gone!  I'm only 21!  I have sex to please my husband, but honestly, even thinking of naughty thoughts don't arouse me like they used to.  I've tried researching online about decreased libido, especially during pregnancy, and they all say the same thing:  you may not be comfortable with your body image, tired, stress, fatigue, etc...but I am really ok with my body, I'm sometimes tired, but other than that, I can't see what the heck is the matter with me.  I feel really worthless in the sex department.  I've read online about female libido disorders, but I just have a really difficult time believing that at 21 this is my problem.  Can you offer any reason for this problem?  Thanks for your time!

Answer
Dear Erica,

Most often, a decrease in sex drive is usually caused by changes in your lifestyle or is a side effect of taking certain medications (such as hormonal contraceptives or antidepressants). There's a big difference between sexual desire and physical arousal: Desire (or libido) refers to your interest in sex, while arousal refers to your body's physical response (vaginal lubrication or an erection). People with higher libidos often experience an easier time getting aroused; while, if your sex drive has gone down, you may have a more difficult time with some of the physical aspects of arousal. By increasing your sex drive, your body should respond with an increase in arousal. If it does not, you should speak to your doctor.

You are right that you are quite young to be experiencing a loss of libido. Have you tried new and different things? Have you tried reading a really dirty book or watching a pornographic movie to try and get yourself going? There really is nothing wrong with trying things that ordinarily you never would have considered if it will help you to get back on track. If you have truly assessed things like stress, anxiety, body image issues, excessive fatigue, relationship issues, or ANYthing psychosocially related, I really would suggest discussing the situation with your doctor.

I hope this has helped you and answered your question. I wish you well.

Brenda