Question
Fetus
It has been 20 years now since my abortion. I have had a beautiful daughter since who is now 18. All these years I looked at her and thought about her other sibling. What they would have been like. After viewing pictures of these little human beings in the womb I think to myself How could I have murdered another human being, a Child. They really are baby's at conception. I'm devistated to what I have done. No, I may not have been affected before, during or imediataly after, but after having a child. I so desperately grieve my loss. The baby's daddy, had not the least bit of concern for this child. He was happy to be relieved of this responsibility, which he pushed for me to make the choice to put the decision on my soulders. Today I try and speak to women on protection, which is now avaiable to men also, they are dealing with another LIFE which is not intended to be takin so lightly in my own selfish act, I can say these things.
Oh what have I done.
Is there any counseling/help for women even after so many years of carrying this pain. Where can I go and where can I send women who are in the mist of making such a horrific decision or have already done so? Yes, it does affect you, mentally.
Patricia
AnswerHi Patricia :)
If it's a baby at conception, does a woman menstruating commit murder? Because most fertilized eggs will simply not implant at all. If you feel it is a baby from conception, that's great, but know that. What the guy did was wrong-you should have been able to make the choice you truly wanted, free from his pressure.
Also, not all women will feel the same way you do. To others, it's not a life, but a potential life. To others, keeping a child they don't want and/or know they can't care for is the selfish choice. Framing it for every woman as a horrific decision is inaccurate. While it was for you, for others, it's just not. It affected YOU mentally, but it will not affect every other woman mentally.
You can go here http://www.4exhale.org/ an excellent resource, highly recommended.
That picture you have-it claims to be of an 8 week embryo. Here's a good photo:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/medical/IM04050
You're thinking of the "what ifs"-but are you only considering the good what-ifs? What about the bads? What if you hadn't been able to give both children the attention they needed, or one or both detested having a sibling? It can really go both ways, and it's certainly not a reason to make yourself feel bad. It's awful you feel the way you feel-contact Exhale, they'll help. But also, make sure you don't project your own feelings about your experience onto every other woman's abortion experiences-for many of whom have felt great relief and never looked back.
