QuestionHi. Would like to hear your thoughts on the recent controversy surrounding Republican Congressman Todd Akin's remarks about pregnancy and rape? Also, in your personal opinion why on earth do some women support candidates who are so openly against women's rights? I can see men supporting him, but women? It makes NO sense to me! How can a woman not support women's rights? Also, I don't understand why any woman in her right mind would choose to give birth to their rapists child. I know a lot of people think it's selfless and brave and all, but I have a different point of view. Is it really possible for a woman to look at that child and not be reminded of what happened to her? And how will that child feel when he/she finds out dad was a rapist? And what if he decides to sue for custody? I read that in the vast majority of states rapists actually have that right (shocking but true!). Do you really want a guy who is capable of such extreme violence against women playing an active role in your child's life? These are just a few of the things that came to my mind. apparently some women DO choose to have their babies. But I would imagine that this would further traumatize them physically and especially psychologically, even more so if they were forced to because the government gave them no other choice. Surely anyone with even an ounce of respect and empathy for women would see and understand that! As a former victim of sexual abuse myself, I can not imagine having a constant reminder of the SOB that violated me in my face every day, and I especially can't imagine loving them. Maybe that makes me a horrible person? I don't know. I mean I know on an intellectual level it's not the child's fault, but still. And why should the woman be punished? Just a few of my thoughts, would like to hear yours. Felt the need to discuss this issue with someone I knew (or at least felt might) be sympathetic. Sorry. I know this is a long question. Thanks for your time.
AnswerHi Geraldine :)
Pardon my language, but my thoughts are: fucking disgusting, misogynistic, and inexcusable. And a complete lack understanding of how pregnancy happens, apparently. (the egg, as far as i know, doesn't magically decide to not leave the ovary or just ignore any sperm it comes across)
Some women have internalized all this crap-or they project, and think "if I don't do, say, or act like X, than bad thing wont be said/done to me" even though that's false security. We see this with rape culture-if I dont dress like this, I'm safe.
There are some states where the rapist can sue for custody. We are so, so, so behind on this front, it's shameful.
And unfortunately, given how society treats rape, some of these women might not even realize or be able to fully accept what happened was rape, and that they are not at fault. And then on top of the shaming they recieve for being a victim of a crime, they get told how awful abortion is, poor innocent baby, etc. Maybe they aren't able to access abortion.
I'm sorry you had to go through that-I hope you you have been able to find some peace, or are on your way to doing so. No survivor should have to live feeling shame or guilt.
No, whatever emotion or feelings you and any other victim/survivor feel afterwards and towards the abusers doesn't make you horrible, it makes you a human being trying hard to process something so cruel. If those thoughts consume your daily life, or you find yourself acting out, being overly aggressive, etc, that would be a signal that seeking professional help could be beneficial, but of course our lovely healthcare in the US prevents many people from doing so simply because of access. So excellent-stigma of sexual abuse, and stigma of seeking help.
Of course it's not the child's fault, but one really does have to think if we as a society should find it ok for children to be born unwanted and resented, and what that means about our future. But then again these people don't give a flying fuck about children, only fetuses. So always keep that in mind. And, completely honestly...mostly white fetuses of are their concern.
They already hate women by denying abortion rights-but damn, the hatred and disgustingness of those comments is literally breathtaking. I am so thankful I had no internet connection when those comments broke, so I was able to avoid seeing/hearing any nonsense. I honestly want to break down sobbing that someone even thinks that those comments are ok to make. As an elected official. As a freaking human being. When people have the nerve (and yes, a woman did tell me this not even a month ago) to say "women don't have it that bad" I also want to break down-these comments should be proof enough that being deemed a woman by society can definitely be THAT BAD.
