QuestionQUESTION: My daughter gave birth to a stillborn on 2/20/10. She was 23 weeks. We don't have any answers yet. I was reading on this websie about erythroblastosis. This sounds like it could be what happened. My daughter is rh neg and must have the shot so far into pregnancy. When her boy was born he was very samll and fragile. He was only 7 1/2 in and 4 ounces. His color was dark brown (we are caucasion) and he also had an odor. His skin was very delicate. We don't know how long he had been dead inside of her. Does this sound like a possibility of the erythroblastosis andif so how would this have been diagnosed? We have already buried him last Tuesday. I could possibly send a picture if I could get someone to help me upload it from my camera. Thank you
ANSWER: Hi Rita :)
I'm very sorry about what you and your daughter experienced, and hope that you're both doing ok. If she had the shot, that should have taken care of the problem posed by the blood differences. A doctor would be more able to answer this question. But keep in mind, there are stillbirths that happen where we don't know WHY they happen-they appear random. It's not talked about too much, but unfortunately, it does happen. He would also have been more likely to have a yellowish color, since jaundice is associated with this condition. Your daughter did what was possible. Do you know if it could have been a late miscarriage? Her body may have sensed something was not right with his development, and decided to spontaneously abort. Sometimes, the development just doesn't progress as planned/needed, since pregnancy is such a complex, complicated process. I'm so sorry if this doesn't help at all, but with stillborns sometimes there isn't ever an answer as to why. Let me know of you have any more questions/thoughts.
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QUESTION: Thank you for your answer. She was supposed to get her shot the dr visit on the 19th when they discovered the baby was gone. Also, thye were setting her up to go to a lager hospital for some further tests because the blood tests for spina bifada and down syndrome had come back not right. But you are right, we may never know. I guess too I just wonder how long the baby had been dead. She missed her appt on the 4th, but I don't think that would have changed the outcome as lots of women go the whole 9 mos with no care and deliver healthy babies. In my grief I am just searching for answers. Thank you
ANSWER: Hmmm, maybe the results of those tests had something to do with it-the fetus being not genetically preferable, her body expelled it. I hate putting it in such a crude way, but I want to get across that your daughter didn't have anything to do with the stillbirth in all likelihood. And you're right, missing that one appointment-that would have changed nothing. It's hard when there's no definitive answer, and I'm sure that can play a big role in grieving. Unfair things happen, unexplainable things happen. I don't know if your daughter had begun to feel him kick? If she had, and felt that movement lessen/stop, that's probably be the time he passed. I'd say he could have been dead for up to a couple weeks-sometimes the body doesn't act upon it right away. But it also could have happened just before they discovered it. I hope you're able to find something that will help, and i really hope I can be of some assistance.
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QUESTION: No question. But thanks for your responses. She was not sure whether she was feeling the baby or not. Everytime I asked whether she was feeling him she wasn't quite sure so I really feel like something was wrong from the beginning. She was just getting far enough along to really distinguish whether or not she was really feeing him or something else. Since he was so small, that would probably play into the whole scenario too. Again, thanks for your responses you have been helpful. You do not have to respon to this. Also, don't worry about being "crude", you have to say things so they are understandable.
AnswerThat sounds like that right from the start of his formation he wasn't right. He may have been developing too slowly, or wasn't developing correctly, or really just died midway through the pregnancy, and that's why your daughter couldn't tell if she was feeling kicks or not. I'm glad I could be of some help, always feel free to message me back :)
