Question--I know that he has never cheated on me. he is without a doubt the best
husband a woman could ask for. he is attentive, romantic and gentlemanly at all times. he is even the best person i've ever known... its me and my insecurities... i just have to stop being like this. we have the best marriage i know of... i just hope i dont ruin it. thank you so much for your input.. i knew already, i needed to hear someone else say it.
dianne-----------------------
Followup To
Question -
how can i stop my jealousy? i have been married to a wonderful man for five years. second marriage for both of us. he is very good to me and we have a good life together... but anytime i think he's looking at another woman for more than a glance, i get very upset. he wont admit it and that makes me madder. i dont look at other men with intrest and i dont like him looking at other
women. am i way unreasonable. (i'm 57 and hes 59.) i'm afraid that i'm gonna wreck our marriage if i dont stop this behavoir, but i cant seem to stop myself from going ballistic every time. i'm fairly attractive, and i take care of myself (just a few lbs overweight). when this happens, i dont talk to him for days and that hurts us both. what should i do?
alwa
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Answer -
Dianne,
You are right about one thing...you are indeed hurting your marriage. If you keep this behavior up you might cause the marriage to end. My guess is that you have been hurt by a cheating mate, perhaps your ex-husband. If this current hubby has cheated on you then ofcourse you are going to feel this way. In that case you either except what he did and move on to the rest of your lives together or you leave the marriage. If he has not cheated on you then you are behaving in a way he can't possibly understand. If you continue then you will either cause him to leave or follow through with your jealousy and cheat. He is a human man...he will look. As long as he only touches you then you have nothing to worry about. Why would he admit his taking a peak, he knows you will flip. You might be pleasantly surprised at how little he looks when you stop this behavior. Good luck.
AnswerGood job. The urges will still be there to get mad when he looks etc. Just be aware that you will have the urge to open your mouth and when the urge arises count to 10 in your mind, plant a smile on your face and look lovingly at hubby while taking his hand or arm. Don't speak at all until you get in the habit of only saying positive things at those moments. I'll bet he "looks" less and less. Good luck.
