QuestionHi. My question is what are some red flags women should look for when looking for a neatral and safe place to discuss their preganancy options? HOw can they avoid so called "crisis pregnancy centers"? For example, I was looking for some advice on birth control and noticed there is an "expert" listed here on the subject and I was reading some of her previous questions and answers, and it became apparant to me that she is very biased and probably anti birth control (she admitted to being against abortion, calling it "murder"). She always talks about the side effects and risks of birth control, NEVER once mentioning the benefits. And she tells young women it is a good idea to abstain from sex until marriage because no birth control is one hundred percent effective. Isn't it true that most women can use birth control safely, and that there are more side-effects and risks associated with pregnancy and childbirth than there are with using hormonal birth control? Like have you ever heard of the show "19 Kids and COunting"? IT's about this couple that are devout christians and they don't believe in using birth control (obviously). They believe that it is a woman's duty to have as many children as "god" decides she should have, and that a woman will not get pregnant if "god" doesn't believe she can handle it. But that seems ridiculous to me! And also the mother stated that she does not use birth control because it is unnatural and dangerous, and claims that using birth control in the past led to a miscarriage. But it can't be good to have that many kids right? I mean, that must take a toll on a woman's body and mind. And birth control is safe for the most part isn't it? And as far as abstaining until marriage, what about those girls who don't want to get married? Isn't it unfair and unrealistic to expect them to NEVER have sex? Anyway, sorry for going off on a tangent! My main question is how can you recognize when one of these places is actually run by anti abortion people, and that they can't be trusted to help you come to the decision that is right for you? and why are these places even allowed to exist in the first place? I read that most of the people that run/staff these fake clinics don't even have any medical or psychological training, and tell women lies or make claims that have been unsubstantiated. I worry about girls/women who go to these places looking for help, and are unsuspecting and naive and will fall for these tactics. SOrry this is a bit on the long side. Thanks for your time.
AnswerHi Sylvia :)
My apologies for the lateness. I just moved into a new apartment, and have been having only very limited internet access if at all.
She also makes up side effects that are wholly inaccurate (like saying HBC lowers white blood cell counts [and thus ability to fight infection. Simply not true.]) And apparently marriage is an automatic passage into parenthood? Yes, many women can use HBC safely, and others can't, or don't like what can be some pretty awful side effects, but that's the case with all medications. An anti-depressant that does wonders for Sue may be the worst experience for Mary, but since when does that mean the medication itself is the devil's spawn? Nope, just different bodies reacting differently, and there's no need to take the negative experience and then use it to judge the entire thing.
Yes, I used to watch that show, but the sexism and ridiculousness of it turned me away. What people fail to realize is that a pregnancy isn't some miraculous event (in most cases!), it's a biological occurrence. I'm of the belief that no, that embryo was not put there by god, it's there because a sperm joined with the egg, which then made its way to the uterus and was implanted and thus the pregnancy happened. Nothing more. The birth control did not cause her miscarriage, she's doing the whole "incident A happened so it must have been caused by B!" thing. She happened to miscarry, something that happens naturally to many pregnancies. Let's keep in mind that medical term for a miscarriage is a spontaneous abortion. The body aborts the pregnancy, instead of a medical professional.
Yes, I would think a body (and mind!) would be incredibly worn out. I mean, all the hormonal changes, I don't know how she does it. She has had her uterus collapse several times I believe.
Also, love that the "wait till you're married!" argument effectively sweeps lesbian, bisexual, and other queer women under the rug. Yes, wait till marriage...except when you don't even have the legal right to *consider* it. And people who use that argument haven't quite grasped that not everyone wants to get married. And I guess they also ignore the data that has shown us the later a woman marries, the more successful the marriage. I highly doubt someone who gets married at 40 because that's what is right for them abstained (and why should they have?). But then again 95% of Americans have premarital sex before they're 40, so. Don't apologize!!
Usually these places advertise free pregnancy testing and counseling. In the waiting rooms, their literature will certainly not have anything informative on abortion, only negative stuff. To better explain, this page is excellent: http://www.fwhc.org/abortion/fake.htm
I really don't know how they're legal, I really don't. Maybe because they don't advertise as if they have medical professionals working for them. All they do is lie and harass, really. Unfortunately, women do get trapped by them, and it's horrendous. A 15 year old girl facing an unplanned pregnancy does not need to be harassed into a decision, told she'll go to hell otherwise, and then be forced to watch some nonsense video.I cannot even bring myself to imagine how traumatizing that could be. It's disgusting. Laws are being worked on to make it so these places have to state they don't have medical personnel on staff, and that's the least that could be done!. Don't be sorry, always feel free to talk with me!
