QuestionIm 17 and pregnant but I am considering abortion. I just found out and I am scared. I want an abortion but cant afford it. I refuse to use the insurance my mom has through her job because she will find out. Can you help me?
AnswerHello,
What will happen if you get an abortion and you get hurt? Your mother will find out. Trying to hide from her that you are pregnant by getting an abortion is not a good idea.
You are almost an adult. There isn't any reason why you shouldn't take on the responsibility of the situation. There are lots of reasons why you shouldn't get an abortion. Abortion is dangerous. It could cost your life, or render you severely disabled. Some parents have found out when they went to identify their daughter's body. Don't take that chance!
In addition to those types of problems, you could be severely injured so they have to take out your uterus, or you could cause your uterus to rupture, which could kill you. It could mean a tubal pregnancy in the future, which is a threat to your life, and a death sentence for your baby (I have a friend who almost died after having a tubal pregnancy). And if all that weren't bad enough, having an abortion could make you prone to breast cancer. If you have a history of breast cancer in your family, it is a virtual certainty. It might mean you can't carry a baby to term in the future, and the result could be mental damage to your baby, such as cerebral palsy.
Suppose you decide to go ahead and have an abortion. When you walk through the door of the building, if the place looks filthy (and there's a good chance it will), RUN out of there! I just had a chance to look at one of them, and I was horrified! And I have read this is extremely common. If they provide a medical abortion, please know that it takes several days, and it could hurt you so badly you will require care. If they tell you to take medication vaginally, don't! It can cause toxic shock syndrome, which is fatal within hours. And the medication is being used off label, which means the manufacturer has said it is not to be used during pregnancy. If you have a complication, you are on your own.
If you ever hope to have children, don't have an abortion. It can prevent you from having children in the future, or damage your children in the future. If you hope to be able to live with yourself, don't have an abortion. Abortion can mean you would be several times more likely to suffer a violent death in the year afterward. I already also have someone very close to me who had an abortion and tried to commit suicide.
Find out everything you can about your baby, abortion, and what it does, and so forth. The more you know, the more satisfied you will be with your decision, whatever it is.
I don't know what kind of problems you are facing that would lead you to take such a drastic step. But let me suggest a few thoughts.
Suppose you are afraid your mother will kick you out. That isn't likely to happen; in most cases, mothers become very supportive (I've already been through this myself, by the way, and I am thankful my grandson is alive). If she does, there are places you can go to live.
If you are concerned you won't be able to finish your education, just know that I finished mine after I had four children, three of them preschoolers. You are a lot stronger and more resourceful than you think!
It is normal to be scared. But you can get past this.
Suppose you are concerned about not being able to afford to take care of a baby. There is help available, and you can also choose adoption. If you choose adoption, the adoptive parents will pay your expenses. If not, you can get all kinds of help, and there have been times when women have told me they were better off financially if they had their babies, because of the help they could get.
Now suppose you are thinking that there is no way you could ever choose adoption. That would tell me that you know you will love your baby, and your current feelings are temporary. You would be looking at a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Abortion is forever. You can't take it back. And the words I hear most often from women are, "Not a day goes by that I don't think about my baby."
If you need help with the expenses, or counseling, or medical care or any of that, you can find this kind of help. Go here:
http://pregnancycenters.org/
They will help you find a local center in your area where you can get this kind of help. They can also provide counseling online.
Let me know your circumstances, and I will see if I can help you.
If you do have an abortion, and regret it, or have any complications, I will be here for you. But I won't help you hurt yourself. I am praying for you. Please keep in touch and let me know what you decide.
