Seeking Guidance: Post-Abortion Concerns & Support (South Africa)

Question
Hi Joan

Please help me,I feel so guilty and stressed.I'm currently located in South Africa and I'm four months pregnant now. When I was 2 months and a half months pregnant I made a horrible mistake. I didn't know much about abortion nor anything about medical abortions  and I was having problems with my boyfriend. I decided to end the relationship and abort but he didn't know my intentions. So I went to a guy who gave me 1 pill orally and 3 vaginally. The pills were cytotec.I went home and had cramps and diarrhea but little bleeding for 3 days. After a month and a half I didn't ve my period and I went to a doctor who did a blood test and an US then I realised that the baby ws still alive. I was shocked and I felt guilty. The doctor said it was healthy and referred me to a specialist who I'm still waiting to see. I know what I did was bad and I hate myself for it. I made a hasty decision and the guy assured me the pills wld work now I know that they are not always successful. I know that my baby might have birth defects cz of my stupidity. I also confessed to my boyfriend about what I did and he said he forgave me. I pray to God to forgive me and help my innocent baby. Now I know that abortion is EVIL. My question is that, is there a chance that my baby will be healthy? Please advise and help.I don't know what to do but I love my baby and after seeing it on US I realise now that I can't abort it :-(  Thank you

Answer
If the US looks normal and both your doctors agree, then you should stop worrying.  The deformities from Cytotec show up on the US.  Abortion is not evil, it is just the fear and uncertainty that women have that makes it so.  It is unfortunate that you could not see a doctor and discuss all your options the way women can do here in the United States.  No need to worry, God never blamed you.  It was the man who may have sold you fake Cytotec that needs to be forgiven.  he committed fraud.  

Please enjoy your pregnancy.  Do not be ruled by fear.  Take control of your life and do not allow yourself to be victimized. Love and respect yourself.