Imagine that you have the ability to hover overhead, as if on the wings of a small bird, and observe the world unnoticed. See the surrounding houses, the streets, the school crossings. Hover over the playground, see the empty play equipment, the vacant swings swaying a little in a breeze. The children are all inside. Fly silently through the large open window, unseen, an intent observer.
A third grade classroom. Perch up in the corner, looking down from over the large wall clock. What an interesting place. Children this age are beginning to desire some independence; they understand adult language, and yet they still are very dependent, pliable, and suggestible. In this school, there are as many students younger than them as there are older. These are the "big kids," but not the "bigger kids." Feel the energy of twenty or more young human beings caught up in an activity. See the lone teacher sitting behind her large wooden desk. Moving over the rows of small desks, see some students fidget, some scowl, some yawn. But one boy, that small one there, is energized. As he scratches frenetically at a paper, there is a spark in those eyes. A white fire that every good teacher yearns for… The fire of discovery. See this moment… a breakthrough…. a new recognition awakened… a fledgling passion… an insight.
This boy, for the first time, can see past the numerals, into the numbers… there is something there inside, beneath the graphite on the page… a dynamic relationship one to another that he has never seen before. The other children fidget and shuffle, but he doesn't hear them. He has discovered a secret. A new way, a path opening into an unknown, like an explorer stepping into a new cavern for the first time. His heart pulses. There is a shortcut here. There is a way to get to the destination faster, with less effort… a simplicity. This is the dawn of a new love of learning. It is a sacred moment.
Hover overhead in silence, invisible, and see him lay down the pencil. He sits back and looks at the test with wonder, with satisfaction, with joy. As the other children continue to work, this small boy carries the paper up to the big desk and lays it in the wooden bin. See the teacher look up from her reading. She scowls over the rims, the glass beads drooping against her wide neck. As the boy turns to walk away, she pulls the paper from the bin. The small boy does not see. He is in a different place, a place of intrigue and wonder.
And then all the children stiffen. The loud voice of the teacher shatters the quiet, and the small boy freezes, almost to his desk. He turns and looks toward the large wooden desk with fear. He begins to move slowly, hesitantly, drawn forward by the force of the authority. Her scowl is intense, her eyes narrow, dark, and beady. The small boy does not look left or right. The students all hold their breath. He slowly approaches the power.
The words are filled with resentment, the scorn echoing off of the close walls. The small boy cringes as the strong lady's hand grasps his shoulder, pulls him in, and to his terror… across the broad lap. The small boy's eyes are terrified… This can't be happening. The silent protest, "I am a Big Kid." And then, in the eyes, a look thrown to her in silent despair, "Please, not in front of all these others." The desk drawer opens, the chubby hand grasps a wooden ping pong paddle, a strong arm strikes again and again, the paddle across the pants. The children turn their eyes downward in shame. No one is safe.
When it is over, the small boy moves among the desks again. Red-faced, humiliated, angry. The small white spark is gone from the eyes, replaced by the cold simmering of a different kind of fire.
Life is strange, and unpredictable. The interactions between people are complex, and difficult to understand. The effects we have upon each other, in this moment, but also rippling far out into the future, are almost unfathomable. As adults, we are driven by unseen forces that cause us to react in inexplicable ways. I believe almost all people are good at heart, at least in their own eyes. Even the worst among us feel that they are doing the very best they can, and it is probably true, in a way.
To learn how to speak with your toddler check out Talking To Toddlers Review/
To understand how to really get along with your teenager check out My Out of Control Teen Review
