I chair a committee for a local charity that was in financial
dire straits due to the reallocation of funds as a result of
9-11 relief efforts. Our organization lost $85,000 in funding
for the year and was barely able to pay the rent. My committee
was in charge of getting this message out to past donors quickly
in hopes of sustaining the organization.
Two weeks after the donor contact information was given to the
committee members, I e-mailed the committee to see how they were
doing with their calls. Below is one of the responses.
“Things have been crazy busy at work and I have not been able to
make the calls yet and I’m leaving on vacation after tomorrow
until Monday which means I will have a lot to catch up on when I
get back. I will try to make the calls as soon as humanly
possible.”
What did this woman really want to say? She wanted to say she
was sorry, but had over committed her time and would not be able
to make the calls. Instead, she made herself sound like a
frazzled mess who placed the calls at the bottom of her To Do
list.
It would have been so much more powerful if she had just
admitted that she had over committed and simply couldn’t make
the calls. Listing all the things that made her day busy and
more important than the calls, also made her appear
unprofessional.
A more effective way to handle the situation would have been to
say, “I apologize for not finishing the calls as promised,
unfortunately, I have over-committed my time. These calls are
important and shouldn’t be put off any longer. Is there someone
else on the committee who has some additional time to make
them?”
This approach would have shown that she recognized she would not
be able to fulfill her promise, but is adult enough to admit it
and let someone else make the calls in an effort not to make
matters worse. When I asked the woman if she would like someone
else to make the calls for her, she jumped at the opportunity.
If someone asks you to do something that you are unable to do or
don’t want to do—simply say, “no”.
Some examples:
You are asked to a party you are unable to attend:
You say: “Thank you for the invitation, though I already have
other commitments for that time.”
You say: “My schedule is packed that day and I won’t be able to
make it.”
You say: “It’s been a rough week and I planned to stay home that
night and take time for myself. Thanks for the invitation.”
Your boss asks you to handle a new project that you couldn’t
possibly finish on time.
You say: “Our department is currently involved with three other
projects. In order to finish this project on time, one of those
projects will need a time extension or to be delegated to
another department. Is there someone else who can handle this
project or can one of our other projects be delegated to another
team?”
You say: “Can the deadline for this project be extended to the
end of the month?” If ‘no’, then use the answer above.
You say: “That project will require my undivided attention.
Which of the other items we are working on can I delegate to
Mike?”
Sitting in the food court in the mall one Saturday afternoon, I
overheard a woman telling her husband about a ridiculous request
made to her by her boss. The husband asked her how she responded
to the request and his exasperated wife exclaimed, “It’s my
boss! What was I going to say…no?”
Saying “no” effectively is a powerful tool. Those who say no
successfully have more control over their schedules and feel
more in control of their lives, especially when it comes to
saying no to authority figures. It’s a tiny word, but is jam
packed with power. Learn how to use is effectively and you will
increase your power exponentially.