QuestionHi Diane,
I am currently a senior in college, but I have one year left after this (I am currently 21 years of age). I have been on the pill since I became sexually active and for the first time last month, I decided to go off for cost. My boyfriend and I had always been very careful about birth control. We used condoms to make up for the lack of BC but one slipped off during sex. Unfortunately, I thought that everything was okay (because it seemed as though nothing spilled out), however I was wrong.
A few days ago (Thurs to be exact.. today is Wed), I was supposed to get my period. Sad that it didn't come (but also not too concerned since I was just going off the pill), I decided to take a pregnancy test. 4 Positive tests later I was crying in my boyfriends arms completely shocked and sad. I can't have a child right now, I can't afford one, and I can't give this child everything that they would deserve.
I have thought greatly about adoption, but have decided that I would have an extremely hard time giving up my child for an adoption. Getting attached to something inside of me for nine months then giving it away instantaneously would kill me. Being pregnant in college would also be awful for me. I am a president of a very well known club on campus, sit on the board of directors for the American Red Cross in my region, and work year round to help kids with pediatric cancer. All of these things bear great weight on my ability to successfully bear a child for nine months. I have also already begun to have extreme fatigue, unbearable nausea, and breasts that can't even be touched by shower water. All of these things have already greatly impacted my classes, clubs, responsibilities, and social life.
I have talked this over with my boyfriend, who I can praise for being NOTHING but supportive of whatever I want. We have decided, (well I have, he just supports me) that we want to go through an abortion. I say we because we are in this together.
I am asking you these questions now because I am concerned about getting an abortion. I have read many places that surgical abortions (aspiration procedure to be exact) are a better option because they are more affective, induce less bleeding, and get you back on your feet more quickly than the medical abortion. I am also worried because I have suffered from anemia in the past, however I just had my hemoglobin checked recently and it was 12.4 (which is normal range). Are the things I have listed about surgical abortion true? Is medical abortion a better idea for me? Also, will it be a problem that I used to have issues with anemia? I have no other serious medical problems. Also, I am truly concerned about who will go through with the abortion. I have decided to go with planned parenthood because they seem to be the trusted name. Is this a good idea? Is there somewhere I should look for a better option? I do not want to tell my parents and therefore I can't use their health-care insurance, so cost is somewhat of an issue. I am scared but know that this is what I want/need to do. I am not worried about my emotional state but definitely my physical state. I have already compiled a list of things to ask when I go in for my first appointment next week so that I can get some clearer answers. I just want some reassurance that it will be okay. I swear that I will follow all of the post-abortion guidelines and that I will be careful to not get an infection or complicate anything.
Just for more information I had my last normal cycle on 9-25-08, so I am around 4 weeks. When's the earliest someone can have a surgical abortion?
Also, this may seem dumb but I am just interested-- how long until I am allowed to start living life normally after an abortion? As I have mentioned I am in college and my birthday is coming soon, when is it okay to have a few drinks with my friends again? When can I start BC and have sex again? Also, how long should I stop smoking cigarettes/drinking alcohol/using rec drugs (marijuana, nothing else) before an abortion (granted I do not do most of these things but I am just curious because I have done some of them in the past... also I am surrounded by second hand smoke TOO OFTEN, a different issue that I am working on, but I just want to make sure it won't affect my procedure negatively.)? Another weird question- I drink coffee, not a lot, but some... should I give that up prior to the abortion?
I am really sorry for all of the questions but I TRULY appreciate your time and respect in answering these questions. Thank you so much and I hope to hear from you soon.
AnswerHello Jenn,
Thanks for your questions. I don't know if I can give them all justice in this post so I would encourage you to email me privately. My personal email address is DCHERYL51@yahoo.com and please put ALLEXPERTS in the subject line.
Also, I would like for you to join the unplanned Pregnancy group on yahoo, where you can get advice from other women. This group is at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unplanned_pregnancy_help/
It's good that you have done a lot of research in making your decision.
There are the options that you have discussed. I think you have also found out from your research that there are problems and side effects that can happen from abortion.
I can't give you any reassurance that it will be okay. As you can read on my bio, I have counseled and followed up on women for 20 years. I think that there were less than 10 women out of hundreds that I have talked to or read stories from that have not regretted their abortion.
It's not always the emotional consequences, although, these are important. There are physical side effects that can also happen.
I can also talk to you about the pros and cons of medical or surgical abortion. I'm not sure of your time frame so let me know that as well, so the information I give you is pertinent.
Hope to hear from you soon. Oh, and I will do some research on Planned Parenthood versus a private clinic.
Sincerely,
Diane Cheryl
