QuestionQUESTION: I am from india.
I am 21 and my boyfriend is 23.I am unmarried. I was pregnant. I went to gynac and did my abortion through some kind of pills which i had to take in the hospital itself. Gynac gave me 1st dose of pills on 14 th apr and then i got my periods next day. I was called to take 2 nd dose on 17 th apr.
But the doctors advised me not to have sex till i want a baby. He advised me that if i had protected sex too then it would be problem for me to conceive in future, as i had my abortion through such pills. Is it true that i can't have sex till i want a baby, after having abortion through such pills?
Please help me.
Thank you.
ANSWER: Hello, sonia,
I think there are some misunderstandings here. The doctors advised you not to have sex because they don't want you back for another abortion. Their advice is good. You really shouldn't have sex until you are married. Sex simply has too many emotional problems for a woman outside of marriage. A woman will never experience the emotional depth and bonding of sex unless she is married. It is too much of a superficial thing. We women require commitment in order to yield our emotions to our loved one. Men who have sex with unmarried women don't make this commitment. Babies need and deserve two parents who are committed to each other, and love each other. They do better in developing character and in their emotions.
"Protection" doesn't work. If a woman has "protected" sex, it's only a matter of time before the protection fails and she gets pregnant anyway. Whether or not she uses protection (or he does) doesn't have an effect on future fertility.
Nobody really knows whether the pills affect a woman's ability to conceive. They're not doing the research. But they certainly weaken a woman's body. I doubt seriously that having sex will change what the pills did to your body.
You really deserve better. Don't let your boyfriend use your body for pleasure and then you end up having to take the consequences. Abortion is dangerous and can kill a woman. No man has the right to ask that of a woman. Instead, he owes it to you to make a commitment before he has sex with you. And that commitment is marriage. You may think you want sex, but is it really worth the risk? And do you have sex because you enjoy it, or because you are afraid you will lose your boyfriend, or he has influenced you in some way? Talk to your boyfriend, and tell him that what you went through isn't acceptable, and you don't want to deal with this again, and you need and deserve his protection.
Please take care of yourself. Don't take any more risks. Let me know what happens.
You're welcome.
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QUESTION: I am asking this question on behalf of one of my married friend.
She is just married and was pregnant but she did'nt want the baby at that time so she also did her abortion in the same way as i did.(i.e through the pills)
She was also advised her that she should not delay her pregnancy and should get pregnant in a year and not to have protected sex too till she wanted a baby as she did her abortion through pills, her doctor said that if she had protected sex too she would suffer from some kind of infection because of which she may not conceive in future or if pregnancy extended more than 1 yr.
So is it compulsory for her to get pregnant in a yr and can she be able to have protected sex or she will suffer from some kind of infection if had sex.
ANSWER: Hello, sonia,
What you are saying these doctors are telling you doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I'm not sure that either of you really understood what the doctors were saying, or if you did, that the doctors themselves understand what they are saying!
I'll try to explain it as best I can.
Having sex within the first few weeks after abortion is dangerous because of the possibility of infection. It doesn't matter whether a woman has "protected" sex or not. Putting anything in there increases the risk of infection. Please be aware that condoms don't protect a woman from either pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease. At most, they postpone it. In other words, condoms don't work. I know lots of people try to insist men use them, but some of these people KNOW they don't work, and they're looking forward to collecting the money for an abortion.
Once a woman stops bleeding, the chance of infection isn't quite as great. But I would agree with the doctors that if you don't want a baby, you shouldn't have sex. In fact, I would advise an unmarried woman not to have sex at all. If a woman is married, obviously the right to have sex is part of the blessings of marriage. A married woman can learn to tell when she is fertile. If she wants to avoid pregnancy, she must chart faithfully, and she can't be using any hormones. You can find out more on this web site:
http://www.fertilityuk.org/
Fertility awareness, careful charting, and avoiding sex during the fertile time, are THE most effective way for a married woman to avoid pregnancy. The failure rate is about 1%. Doctors won't usually recommend this because they don't make any money from it, but it puts the chance of pregnancy under the control of the married couple rather than some stranger or pharmaceutical company. It is also by far the safest.
And yes, getting an infection from an abortion can prevent a woman from ever having a child.
I would say there is absolutely NO requirement that a woman has to get pregnant within a year. When she gets pregnant should be up to her. More recovery time after abortion can be helpful. I don't know why the doctors would tell her that she has to get pregnant to avoid an infection. That doesn't make any sense to me.
It may well be that both of you need to find a better doctor, one who can explain things better. Certainly, it is unwise to go to a doctor who provides abortions! That person acts unethically and has poor medical judgment. Perhaps the confusion you both are experiencing happens because the doctor no longer thinks straight. But in my opinion, a woman should wait several weeks after abortion to have sex, and she should either abstain until marriage, or use fertility awareness to prevent pregnancy in the future.
I hope this helps.
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QUESTION: oops there's a misunderstanding here,
doctors have not told her to get pregnant to avoid infection.
Doctor have told her that ,
when you want a baby that time only you have sex and if after this abrtion she had protected sex then she would suffer from infection.
May be the doctor must be trying to say ,to avoid sex for few wks.
we will try to change our doctor.
thank you for your valuable advise.
1 more thing i want to ask,that is about me.
doctors have given me some medicine to take for 1 month after abortion.these medicines are R B TONE FORT AND TRIPLE A CALCIUM.
What for these medicines are? last night my stomatch was paining a lot and i vomited some yellow coloured fluid.
i hope my abortio is sucessful..n now i am waiting for my periods.
Does the periods will come exactly after 1 month of abortion or it may delay.
pls hlp.
AnswerHello, sonia,
You're welcome.
Thank you for the clarification. That helps a lot; I understand better now. It sounds like the doctor is being overly cautious. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but if he had been cautious in the first place, he would have advised you against abortion. Obviously, a married woman should be able to have sex. They need to find a better way to help a married woman, because asking her not to have sex until she is ready for a baby isn't reasonable. Nor do I really think it's necessary. It is possible that the doctor meant to say that she should not have sex for a few weeks, and there was a misunderstanding.
Both of these medicines are really supplements. They're nutritional. R B Tone Forte has iron and folic acid in it. Iron and calcium are minerals. Folic acid is a B vitamin. The calcium has Vitamin D in it, and this helps the body absorb and use calcium. Calcium also helps muscles contract, and perhaps they felt that this might help the uterus to contract and prevent excessive bleeding. It's possible that doctors are starting to find out that women are bleeding to death from pill abortions in India, and they hope these supplements will help prevent that. Some of the women who are bleeding to death may be malnourished.
Unfortunately, Triple A Calcium has a number of harmful ingredients in it. The form of Vitamin D is the one that is most effective. However, it contains calcium carbonate, which is just limestone. The body doesn't absorb it readily. We're not plants! We can't benefit from eating ground up rock. Calcium lactate is probably a better form, but it certainly isn't the best. The best forms of calcium for absorption are calcium asporotate (plus whey) and calcium ascorbate. Magnesium stearate is chalk, and it tends to coat ingredients so the body won't absorb them properly. I have found that magnesium stearate causes my eyes to dry out at night while I am asleep, so that it is painful when I try to open them. So I won't take anything that has magnesium stearate in it. Magnesium stearate is used because it helps keep the ingredients flowing smoothly through the machines into the capsules. That's all it's good for. Yellow 5 Lake is just there to make the tablets a certain color so people know what it is. It helps prevent people from giving patients the wrong medication. Yellow 5 Lake causes some people to get hives. I think they reason that a person doesn't get enough of a dose to prove to be a problem. There is also the potential it could cause problems with attention deficit (making it more difficult to concentrate). Yellow 5 Lake is no longer used in some countries because of these concerns. The purpose of Croscarmellose Sodium is to make the pill dissolve and be absorbed more easily. It can cause stomach upset. This could be one reason you are experiencing the problem with your stomach. They probably put this ingredient into the pills because they're trying to figure out how to get people to digest limestone! Hydroxypropyl Methylcellulose is another chemical, and again, it's to try to help a person use the calcium, and it is also used in various other applications such as tile adhesives, cement renders, gypsum products, paints, and detergents. Personally, I would want to stay away from such stuff! Polyethylene Glycol is a polymer, another chemical. These are not naturally part of the human diet. It has laxative properties. That could also affect your stomach, though it would have more of an effect on your intestines. I don't see the reason why this should be in these tablets. You get the idea. You'd be much better off with a natural source of calcium and Vitamin D3. Also, calcium is said to help with conditions like osteoporosis, but it may be that it will actually help cause it, and isn't the proper remedy. I don't know what kind of natural supplements you can get in India, but some are available over the internet. My favorite source of calcium in supplement form is EmergenC. It's a powder that you dissolve in water, and it has a number of minerals in it. You can probably also get calcium ascorbate or calcium asporotate in pill form (read the other ingredients in the pills and make sure they don't have bad chemicals in them; even supplement companies are careless). If you decide to take calcium asporotate, you should also take whey. Whey is part of milk, so if you have a milk allergy, be careful. The skin makes Vitamin D3 when you expose it to sunlight. The closer to the equator you live, the less time in the sun you would need. The darker your skin, the more sun you need. You should let the sun hit your bare skin, and not put any sunscreen on. If you do this, stay in the sun until your skin becomes slightly pink. Most people need a minimum of 15 minutes of sun a day, but I don't have any information on how much of the skin should be exposed. Do not wash your skin with soap for a couple of days; this will wash the Vitamin D off before your skin absorbs it. Or you can get it in supplement form. You have to be careful, because it's possible to overdose. A good amount of Vitamin D3 to take each day would be around 5000 IU. I recommend you ask your doctor why he thinks you need these supplements. I hope all this isn't too confusing for you; I will try to explain further if you have any questions.
Perhaps the doctor thought that because you were willing to take dangerous, toxic drugs, you wouldn't mind taking these pills, either. I think the problem is lack of information. You didn't know the pills are toxic or that they can cause the kinds of problems they do, and apparently the doctor didn't warn you. He should have.
Now about when you will have your period. The answer to that question is, nobody knows. Abortion disrupts the delicate balance in a woman's hormones. The question of when they will settle down and go back to some kind of normal state cannot be answered. Each woman's body responds differently, and some of it depends on when the woman took the pills in her pregnancy. All I can tell you is that your body won't settle into some kind of normality for some time. The most important thing is to make sure you don't start to bleed heavily. This can be very dangerous. If this happens, be sure to eat spicy foods with red hot peppers in them on a regular basis until the bleeding calms down.
That's all I have time to tell you right now, but feel free to ask more questions. Please take care of yourself, and stop taking dangerous pills!
