What does getting a bikini wax and teaching your teen to drive have in common? In both cases you know it will be agonizing, so the best approach is simply to close your eyes and cross your fingers, praying that it all works out in the end. This is why when the time actually comes for their teen to get their license, many parents think awfully hard about becoming Amish.
As your own child nears driving age, you may begin having nightmarish visions about your son or daughter rolling up to the house in their hooptie, sparks flying from the wheelchair that is ominously stuck under their drive shaft.
In response to this anxiety, all sorts of strange thoughts might enter your mind. Some parents wonder what it would cost to hire an off-duty police officer and paramedic to ride shotgun in the car whenever their child is behind the wheel. Others may think about equipping their teen's car with a siren, so that people who are in his path will hear him coming, and know in advance to get off the sidewalk.
Of course, it's entirely possible that your teen may be the safest driver in your family. Even if this is the case, there are other drivers on the road whose antics can be very frightening. You've probably quite a bit in your days; people writing, texting, eating breakfast, or using a computer while driving; road rage and drunk drivers, one lady who was trying to give her dog a pedicure while flying down the highway at 80 m.p.h. -- the list goes on and on. Such is the circus your young driver will have to navigate.
Perhaps the scariest part of a teen's driving is that parents are no longer in control. Let's face it: you're a control freak by nature, especially when it comes to your kids. But while you can't grab the wheel for them or clear the highway of all the other idiots who happen to be on the road, there are several things parents can do to improve their child's safety behind the wheel.
1) Practice makes perfect.
This might seem surprising, but all those times you submit to riding shotgun with your teen, clinging to the door handle for dear life while barking out instructions at your young driver does pay off. (Well, perhaps they could do without the yelling and screaming.) Yet STUDIES SHOW, teens that spend more time driving with their parents are safer on the road. For each hour a teenager spends permit driving with adults, the rate of serious accidents drops significantly.
Approach teen driving like a sport. You want your child to excel, not just barely make the team with proficient-enough skills. Talent comes with practice. When your teen gets their permit, that is when they'll be most excited and most ready to learn. Don't waste this time. Take them out as often as possible, and reinforce the driving practice with reading and talking about safety issues.
2) Demonstrate good driving habits yourself.
The truth is that you've been teaching your children how to drive since they were four or five years old. But now that they're big enough to get behind the wheel themselves, it's time to start cleaning up your own driving habits. There's a clear correlation between what parents do in the car and what teens do in the car. If you text behind the wheel or engage in other careless behavior, you can be assured your teen will pick yup these habits as well.
If you have a few bad driving habits, that's OK. Nobody's perfect. What matters is that you start cleaning these things up now. Kids can accept you not being perfect, but they won't tolerate hypocrisy. Talk about your bad habits, explain why they aren't safe, and then agree to work on these things together. If they catch you doing something you shouldn't, give them permission to provide you with a friendly reminder, and agree to do the same for them.
3) Stay involved.
Keep up with your teen's driving even after they get that license - don't' simply fade away and assume the driving education is complete. Keep working with your child, and be certain that they understand what you expect of them: "I expect that you'll pull over when texting; I expect that you to call me if, for any reason, you aren't in the best shape to drive," and so on. Don't assume they already know such things.
It's often prudent to place reasonable restrictions on a youths driving. For instance, develop an "ask first" policy when it comes to driving the car, so that teens don't form the impression they can take the car out whenever they feel like it. The idea behind this is not to be overly restrictive; you should say yes on most occasions. The point is merely to teach them to think of driving as a privilege making them more likely to covet and protect this privilege by way of responsible behavior as well as to cut down on a few of the pointless trips.
You should also give friendly reminders on a different safety issue each time they head out. (Remember to watch your speed; no texting behind the wheel, wear your seat belt, etc.) They'll roll their eyes and think you're crazy (you should be used to this by now), but it will help keep safety in the forefront of their minds. Do this consistently, and your nagging voice will show up during their driving.
Keep an optimistic view.
Even though teens have crash rates 4 to 5 times as high as other age groups, the overall odds of getting through this stage without any major catastrophes are still overwhelmingly in your child's favor. There may be a few scratches or white knuckles along the way, but that's just par for the course on the journey towards raising an experienced driver.
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