Abuse by proxy continues long after the relationship is
officially over (at least as far as you are concerned). The
majority of abusers get the message, however belatedly and
reluctantly. Others – more vindictive and obsessed – continue to
haunt their ex-spouses for years to come. These are the stalkers.
Most stalkers are what Zona (1993) and Geberth (1992) call
“Simple Obsessional” or, as Mullen and Pathe put it (1999) –
“Rejected”. They stalk their prey as a way of maintaining the
dissolved relationship (at least in their diseased minds). They
seek to “punish” their quarry for refusing to collaborate in the
charade and for resisting their unwanted and ominous attentions.
Such stalkers come from all walks of life and cut across social,
racial, gender, and cultural barriers. They usually suffer from
one or more (comorbid) personality disorders. They may have
anger management or emotional problems and they usually abuse
drugs or alcohol. Stalkers are typically lonely, violent, and
intermittently unemployed – but they are rarely full fledged
criminals.
Contrary to myths perpetrated by the mass media, studies show
that most stalkers are men, have high IQ’s, advanced degrees,
and are middle aged (Meloy and Gothard, 1995; and Morrison,
2001).
Rejected stalkers are intrusive and inordinately persistent.
They recognize no boundaries – personal or legal. They honor to
“contracts” and they pursue their target for years. They
interpret rejection as a sign of the victim’s continued interest
and obsession with them. They are, therefore, impossible to get
rid of. Many of them are narcissists and, thus, lack empathy,
feel omnipotent and immune to the consequences of their actions.
Even so, some stalkers are possessed of an uncanny ability to
psychologically penetrate others. Often, this gift is abused and
put at the service of their control freakery and sadism.
Stalking – and the ability to “mete out justice” makes them feel
powerful and vindicated. When arrested, they often act the
victim and attribute their actions to self-defence and “righting
wrongs”.
Stalkers are emotionally labile and present with rigid and
infantile (primitive) defense mechanisms: splitting, projection,
projective identification, denial, intellectualization, and
narcissism. They devalue and dehumanize their victims and thus
“justify” the harassment or diminish it. From here, it is only
one step to violent conduct.
This is the topic of our next article.
Additional Reading
Zona M.A., Sharma K.K., and Lane J.: A Comparative Study of
Erotomanic and Obsessional Subjects in a Forensic Sample,
Journal of Forensic Sciences, July 1993, 38(4):894-903.
Vernon Geberth: Stalkers, Law and Order, October 1992, 40:
138-140
Mullen P.E., Pathé M., Purcell R., and Stuart G.W.: Study of
Stalkers, American Journal of Psychiatry, August 1999,
156(8):1244-9
Meloy J.R., Gothard S.: Demographic and Clinical Comparison of
Obsessional Followers and Offenders with Mental Disorders,
American Journal of Psychiatry, February 1995, 152(2):258-63.
Morrison K.A.: Predicting Violent Behavior in Stalkers – A
Preliminary Investigation of Canadian Cases in Criminal
Harassment, Journal of Forensic Sciences, November 2001,
46(6):1403-10.