How To Have An Abundant Holiday Season
“There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide
to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections,
traditions.” – Bill McKibben
“As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be
simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be
poverty, not weakness.” – Henry David Thoreau
Thanksgiving has come and gone. Christmas is on the way. How
many times has someone asked you “The Big Holiday Question?” If
you are a woman, you have probably heard it several times
already. You, yourself, might have asked others The Big Holiday
Question. If you are a man, you probably have no idea what The
Big Holiday Question is.
The Big Holiday Question
The Big Holiday Question is, “Are you ready for the holidays?” I
first became aware of this question years ago. I noticed that
women began to greet each other with The Big Holiday Question,
starting sometime in late October, and kept asking the question
into January.
I also noticed that almost every woman answered The Big Holiday
Question with an exasperated, “No,” and then begin to recite the
myriad of tasks she “had to do.” I have often heard women end
their recitation with a fervent declaration, “I dread the
holidays and wish they were already over.”
If you listen, you will hear the question everywhere you go. The
Big Holiday Question is something like the private code of a
secret society. By asking The Big Holiday Question, women
instantly recognize themselves as members of a society of
sisters overwhelmed with Too Much To Do.
“Christmas is a season of such infinite labour, as well as
expense in the shopping and present-making line, that almost
every woman I know is good for nothing in purse and person for a
month afterwards, done up physically, and broken down
financially. ” –Fanny Kemble
More Is Not Abundance
Ironically, The Big Holiday Question is one of the most powerful
and insidious enemies to living an “Abundantly Alive Now!” life.
The reason is that the Big Holiday Question is propelled by the
idea of doing more, and more, and more, and more. All around us,
we are bombarded with messages of more.
Whether the reasons are innate or socially created, women seem
to feel responsible for doing the lion’s share of the “have-tos”
to get ready for the holidays. As far as I can tell, men do not
drive themselves crazy asking each other The Big Holiday
Question. Holiday overkill seems to be a female sport. For many
women, the holiday season is driven by the idea of shopping
more, spending more, buying more, cooking more, baking more,
simply doing more, and more, and more.
And more is never enough.
I don’t intend to get into a war of the sexes game here by
claiming that men “should” do more. My point is that The Big
Holiday Question is an enemy of abundance. Anytime you are
feeling overwhelmed with thoughts of all you “have to do” to
prepare for the dreaded upcoming holidays, you are not living in
abundance. Driving yourself crazy with a massive holiday do-to
list is a demonstration of lack rather than abundance.
Another Question
As a replacement for The Big Holiday Question, I offer you one
of my favorite questions, “What is enough?” In another issue, I
will tell why that question is so important to me. Right now, I
offer you the question to set you free from the relentless
demands of The Big Holiday Question, which never knows when to
quit.
For example, instead of telling yourself that you have to bake
ten kinds of holiday cookies, you could ask yourself, “What is
enough?” You might decide that “enough” means baking only two
kinds of Christmas cookies instead of ten. Or you could decide
to skip baking cookies entirely this year. The question, “What
is Enough?” changes the equation. Instead of “trying” to do
everything you think you “should,” you decide what enough means
for you.
About the time I began to notice The Big Holiday Question, I
also made my own decision about the holidays. I love the holiday
season. I love Christmas trees and sparkling lights. I love to
buy presents for the people I love. I decided that I would
remain calm and peaceful in the season, even if everyone else
was going crazy around me. My own criterion for the “What is
enough?” question is, if I begin to feel even the slightest bit
frantic, I decide I have passed the point of “Enough” into the
terrain of “Too Much.”
“Don’t worry about anything. Worrying never solved anything. All
it does is distort your mind.” – Milton Garland
Enough
The truth is, feeling Abundantly Alive Now! never results from
the word “more.” This feeling results from the word “enough.”
Abundance means having enough to live joyously, calmly, and
lovingly in the present moment.
Ultimately, the greatest harm done by The Big Holiday Question
is that it diverts your attention from living fully in this
moment and focuses it upon a future time. It is one thing to
plan and prepare. It is another matter entirely to sacrifice the
only moment you have to live your life, which is this moment, to
replace it with harried efforts to “Get ready for the holidays.”