QuestionI've always worried about this. If I make a mistake in putting a condom on (not quite hard enough, etc.) and have to try again, is that safe to do so? How likely is it for pre-cum to transfer to the outside of a condom in the midst of putting one on?
Usually, when I put a condom on I can't see any precum so I'm assuming that it's not there, but I guess I really don't know for sure. Is pre-cum something to worry about period when I put a condom on? I will not (and cannot, it makes me too nervous) have sex with a girl if I think there is a chance that the condom is not working because I messed up putting it on.
Also, if I start masturbating to speed up in getting my erection, is it safe to put the condom on with that hand? Even if I can't or don't see anything on my hand or penis how can I be confident that I'm not missing something? Is there any way that I can be more confident when I am about to have sex that I am not going to transfer any of my semen to her? I've searched this question on the internet for a long time and it doesn't seem to be something the average person worries about, though I feel it's a legitimate concern.
Finally, in relation to pre-cum and condom use, I've seen this response a few times on a few websites that claim credibility on contraception, this one is just one example. etc.http://aids.about.com/od/safersexquestions/f/break.htm (of course, I realize that just because somebody claims credibility, doesn't mean that they are) but I still feel like there could be a misconception about this issue. If you are wearing a condom during sex and it breaks, I've often heard that you just pull out and apply a new condom. It's almost like pre-cum isn't even accounted for. Pull out and you don't have to worry about whatever might still be leftover on you... I guess I just don't know who to necessarily trust when I ask these questions. I want to have sex but I want to feel like I am informed as much as I can be about contraception/pregnancy etc. For such a subject it seems like there is lots of discrepancy among various sources, from doctors to condom manufacturers themselves as far as the reliability of condoms with proper and improper use, how often a condom might break/fail and why it might break/fail, how birth control pills should be taken, etc. (does taking a pill at the same time everyday mean taking it within the same hour? two hours? morning? evening? what does "same" constitute? And if there is a wider margin of time than EXACTLY when you first took the pill why don't many pill manufacturers specify the margin of time that is considered the "same" time every day?) With so much discrepancy in information how and why can/should anybody be confident that they are practicing sex in a reasonably safe manner? Maybe I am being paranoid, but I like sex, and want to get better at it. These questions seem to plague me and keep me from being able to pursue the sex that I desire. Sorry for the length and thanks ahead of time for your response...
AnswerDylan,
You are one of the most informed people that have asked me a question. I am really glad that you are thinking about all these problems and questions. More people need to consider these matters. So many people just have sex and don't worry about pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted diseases.
I have to say that most of the advertisements and condom manufacturers are not true. There is no birth control method that is 100% safe but a lot of people think that it is. So that is why there are so many pregnancy problems, abortions and diseases. So I feel that it is best to avoid sex until you are married and your wife has been tested for diseases. I don't know how old you are or if that is an upcoming option. You can email me if you want in case I can't take any more questions. My private email address is DWooley97@aol.com
Oh, about the birth control pills, also there is a chance of pregnancy. There is a pill called Plan B or morning after pill but they aren't for sure and can be dangerous to the woman. I don't recommend taking regular birth control pills for emergency contraception.
Good luck and let me know if you have any more questions or want to write me.
Diane W.
