QuestionHey there. I have a boyfriend of 9 months. We have known each other for about 2 years now and started dating back in January of this year. Anyway, I am wanting to give him permission to have sex with other people like he wants to do. In other words, I am wanting to give him permission for us to be in an open relationship. However, in order to do this, I want to require that he use a condom every time he has sex with another woman and every time he has sex with me. Pregnancy worries is not an issue for me because I am on the Depo Provera shot and have been since the beginning of August. However, I do worry about STDs which is why I want him to use a condom both with me and with any other woman he has sex with if he does have sex with someone else. We do not currently use condoms but I am not worried about an STD at this time. I have been tested for STDs a few times since having sex with him 2 years ago and the tests have always come back clean. He has only ever had sex with 2 other women and that was before we were officially dating.
Anyway, the problem is this. He hates condoms. He says he can't feel hardly anything when he has a condom on. I don't know what to do. I want to help him solve this problem so we don't have anything to worry about but I really don't know where to begin. We have tried the larger sized condoms like Trojan Magnum, the thin condoms like Crown Skinless Skin condoms, and even the non-latex condoms like Durex Avanti Bare and Lifestyles Skyn condoms (both of which are made of a newer material called polyisoprene). Unfortunately, none of these options so far have worked for him. He doesn't really seem to know what exactly it is about the condoms that is bothering him. All he says is that he can't feel much with them on. I don't know what to do. Can you please offer some advice? Thanks!
AnswerDear Holly,
In my opinion, I wouldn't have sex with a guy who was having sex with someone else. Studies have been showing that condoms are not 100% safe in preventing pregnancy or STDs. So you would still be at risk of an STD even using a condom.
Also, emotionally, why would you want to have a relationship with a guy who wants to have sex with someone else? I don't understand this at all. In my opinion, you deserve better and if you want to have an exclusive relationship with a man and leading to marriage, I would say goodbye to him. So that is my opinion and I really can't tell you why he hates condoms. I would say he is pretty selfish and you deserve better.
Anyway, just my opinion so I hope you will consider this. You can email me at DWooley97@yahoo.com and we can talk more. Hope to hear from you soon.
Diane W.
