QuestionQUESTION: my boyfriend and i found out i was pregnent and he wanted me to have an abortion because he wasnt sure if he could handle it because we are just kids ourselves. when i went to the clinic they told me i was 7 weeks and one day so they gave me the pills. the pills did not work and now im about 9 weeks pregent, im scared to go thru the surgical abortion because i didnt want to do this one, whats the chances that my baby is alrite and will be fine. will i dr be able to tell me if anything will be wrong with it because when i went to the clinic they said thwy recommend everyone to finish what they start. can you please help me i want to keep it but is it best just to listen and finish the abortion out.?
ANSWER: Hello, tierra,
It makes me angry when a man forces his girlfriend to have an abortion. Don't worry about the baby. The reason the pills didn't work is because although they stop the mother's supply of progesterone, by about 7 weeks, the baby is making enough on his own so that the lack of progesterone from the mother is not harmful. So the odds are very much in your favor that the baby is fine. You can go to a doctor, who can watch you and make sure everything is fine. Those people should never have subjected you to abortion in the first place, because you didn't want to have one, and it is NOT your boyfriend's choice to make you have one. Don't have anything further to do with them. They just want your money. They should never have given you those pills this late to begin with. In fact, they shouldn't have given them to you at all, because they can kill you. Instead of going back, where they can pressure you, find a doctor who is familiar with these situations and knows how to work with them. Your best bet is to find an organization in your area that helps women in your situation. You can find one by going to this web site:
http://www.optionline.org/
The link to the lists is on the right, not real easy to find. They will have relationships with doctors who can help you.
As for your boyfriend, you need to have a serious talk with him. Why would he want you to risk your life because you are both young? It would seem to me that the younger you are, the more living you have to do, and risking your life like that is even more undesirable. If you can't talk some "sense" into him, you'd be better off with someone else. He took advantage of your body, but he's not willing to live with the consequences. You deserve someone who will cherish you and your baby, not someone who is just a sperm donor out there for his own pleasure, and to heck with your needs.
Please take care of yourself and your baby, and let me know how you do. Keep in touch, and feel free to ask any other questions you may have. Send me a picture when your baby is born. :) I will pray for you both.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: but when i went back to the clinic for a follow up to check everything out, they said the fetus was not forming right and if i dont do the surgical abortion since the pill did not work i would have a miscarriage because the baby was posioned due to the pill. is that true? i talked to my boyfriend and told him i was scared to death to go thru the surgical procedure but the clinic thinks thats the best option. i keep worrying because i want the baby but i dont know whats best for the baby.
AnswerHello, tierra,
Don't let those people scare you. If the baby was able to survive, the likelihood he or she was harmed by the pills is very small. Hey, they knew when they gave you the pills that they would likely fail, and they figured they could just do a surgical abortion on you, too. They want your money. If you submit to a surgical abortion, they get your money. You get to take the extra risk, and quite frankly, the risk is very significant. A surgical abortion can not only kill or maim you, but it can also harm your future children. These people are violating medical ethics in multiple ways. Their medical judgment CANNOT be trusted. It is so easy to claim there is a problem with the development of the baby. Who are you to know differently? You know what I mean? What is more fair to the baby: being born to enjoy the life he or she can enjoy, or being torn apart limb from limb in agony? Even disabled people enjoy life; they probably enjoy it more than able-bodied people. But I honestly don't believe your baby has been harmed, simply because since he or she would be making progesterone, and since the major action of these pills is to stop progesterone, the baby was never deprived in the first place! Hey, I know from PERSONAL experience that the medical judgment of an abortionist cannot be trusted.
You need to find a DECENT doctor, not someone who would poison or butcher you, which is what these chop shops do. If you go to the link I gave you and find an organization, they will have doctors affiliated with them, who can handle the situation you face. Here is the link again:
http://www.optionline.org/
Get away from those clinic people. You cannot trust them, and they will do their level best to terrify you into giving them more money, and taking unnecessary and life-threatening risks just so they can make money from you. These people are no better than a back alley abortion mill. The only difference is that they can get away with it. There's a really good chance that their facility wouldn't meet local health department standards anyway. Most of them don't.
PLEASE don't darken their door again. Your baby is depending on you for your protection. Please protect yourself and your baby. Please keep in touch.
