Your kids name your (kombucha) scobies and pretend they are pets. – Michelle Thiehoff
…you grind up an eggplant, put it in a jar with vinegar, put it in the fridge for 3 days, then use it on your son’s warts… and it really works too! – Gina Palmer
Your sister thinks her nose ring is infected and you offer to give her some breast milk to take home and treat it with. You don’t understand why she made that face about it, either. – Susie Yarbrough
Your 16 month old thinks socks are for her hands! (because she goes barefoot everywhere!) – Unmistakably Food
You tell your 4 year old you’re having chicken nuggets for dinner and she says “Mama, what are chicken nuggets?” – Heather
Your kids beg for “special chocolate” daily and even ask for seconds. (“Special chocolate” = Chocolate Cream FCLO) – Kate
Your answer for everything from bug bites to fabric soften(er) is vinegar! – Autumn Peiser
For a snack your kid wants butter. Just. butter. – Becki Pembleton
Your kid’s ear hurts and they start saying, “I need my onions!” – Haley Smisek
Your OB’s nurse asks, “what is this D.C. is after your primary care Dr’s name” [D.C. = Doctor of Chiropractic] – Mindy Worley
You make brownies out of soaked black beans, you put bone broth in sippy cups and your toddler cries for sauerkraut. – Kelly Villareal
You let your children choose their own weaning date and then invite their friends to their weaning party. – Jolene Michele
You ask your daughter what she bought from the school bake sale and she replies, “Ewwwww. Nothing. Everything was covered in chemicals.” – Mommy OM
The phone in your bedroom rings in the morning and it wakes the entire family up because you are all in the same bed. – Debbie Cook St. John
Your request to keep your placenta is met with confusion by hospital staff. – Caroline May
You steal your placenta from the hospital when the nurses say you can’t take it with you. – Candace Smith
. . . you have to tell your guests to be careful which ice cream bucket they pull out of the freezer… one is homemade icecream, the other one has from placenta from our homebirth!” – Rachael
. . . you have to throw out a Scoby that has gotten particularly large and out of control, and your 6-year-old stages a full on right-to-life demonstration, citing several convincing facts about why it should be allowed to live on. – Linzy
Your husband enters the minivan and notices everyone smells like garlic, he feels left out and says “no one offered me any garlic” – Vero
Your medicine cabinet looks the same as your spice cabinet. – Sarah
You eat “dog treats”(raw cheese) with crackers as a regular snack. – Marybeth
When “Rub some coconut oil on it!” is your answer for every complaint. – Lindsey
When your kids play “restaurant” and tell you everything is organic and GMO free. ~ Sarah
You say things like “Leftover scobies are a great chicken treat! I cut them up into approximately bug-sized bits, and the ladies go crazy over them. It turns out the dogs like them, too! Hey, it’s protein and good microbes, what could be better?” – Jeanmarie
“Your water breaks while getting an infusion of iron in the hospital and you immediately rush home to give birth.” – Jessica
“When your daughter runs around saying, ‘Do you like my makeup? My mom made it out of food.'” – Kayla
“When your wall art is placenta prints.” – Angela
“When you go to the zoo and get really excited to see some of the animals breastfeeding (in public, not covered!).” – Sara
“At a party with catered BBQ, your kids see the tray of white bread and squeal, “Mama, can we have some of that duck bread?!”. (We’ve only ever bought it to feed the ducks at the pond.)” – Angelina
“… you beg to take home the leftover turkey carcass from big holiday dinners. (As if anyone else was gonna fight you for it…)” – Christy
“…when you have to label your jars so you can tell the fermented chicken feed apart from the fermented grains you’re making for lunch tomorrow.” – Elisabeth
“when you use your built in microwave as storage for fermenting yogurt or as a bread box.” – Amanda
High five to the unconventional mamas who inspired this post via this thread on my Facebook wall. There were many more that made me giggle, but this is a pretty good sampling of the overall theme.
Photo credits: mdanys (top photo), JasonUnbound (middle photo), Daniela Vladimirova (bottom photo) cc