Believe me, I get it. But I also get how important it is that you make sure your marriage or partnership is not just about chores, calendars, and children, but also about fun. This is one of the very best gifts you could give to your kids. Your children will feel safe and loved, and you will be setting a strong example for their future relationships. As working mothers, we often don't have clear role models of what a real partner is. The ideal partner cares about you, understands you, and helps you--with family, household, and even work issues.
As a working mother, if you don't have a real partnership, you will always struggle. You will stop growing--both in your career and your relationships. But, if you do live a real partnership, this companion will help you "work on you." And as we become more fulfilled in life, we are able to add to the happiness in others, too.
Like so many other working moms, I had let kids and work become our life. When Scott and I went out to dinner, we discussed the kids. When we were together on weekends, we were doing kid things. I'll even admit that there have been more than a few nights that one of the kids ends up in bed with us. It goes without saying that this does not inspire romance.
Scott is the greatest guy I know. Yet in spite of all of our together time, I realized that we hadn't really been spending much time together at all. I needed to make him a priority again.
As mothers, we often feel that our children need us more than our spouses do. As working mothers, we also sometimes put our jobs in front of our partners.
It's true that kids need to be fed, clothed, and cared for, but they do not need more of you than your spouse. Your job also needs your full attention, but not more than the most important people in your life.It is time to honestly ask yourself: are you comfortable letting Dad take on many of the decisions you previously tackled alone?
To begin dual-parenting, we must release our hold on some of the decisions we make every day. Think through your list of what I like to call "Mommy calls" and consider if you can transition them to "parenting calls."
As an example, can Dad make the decision for a sleepover without your input? How about scheduling birthday parties, or going shopping for back to school supplies or Halloween costumes? Think about what you normally take on, and ask yourself if you can allow your partner to help with these tasks more evenly. The benefits far out-weigh the trade as you get a real partner and the kids get an involved, hands-on Dad.
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