It's 3 am and you're a wee bit tipsy at a local bar. Your friends are swaying to the beats as they're belting out the done-to-death Ed Sheeran lyrics "Girl, you know I want your love, your love was handmade for somebody like me..." You sip on your quarter glass rum and coke with a half-hearted smile and as you stare into the disillusioning green, blue and red strobe lights, and all of a sudden, your mind decides to go throwback Thursday on you.
Before you know it, you're consumed with thoughts of that guy who broke your heart. That ex-boyfriend who you adored so much but for some reason, it couldn't work out. The guy who made you feel like the most special girl in the world. The guy who you gave your whole heart to. And as you look at your friends coupling up and looking so happy, you start to miss that whole feeling. You go to your contact list and stare at the blocked number on your screen and contemplate. "Should I?" .. you think. THAT's the moment I'm talking about. The answer to that question is always NO.
Trying to remember all of the reasons to never go back to an ex is rather difficult, I know. But sometimes, after a couple of drinks or a particularly sad romantic movie, you find yourself sitting there wondering if things could be different this time around. Well, take a deep breath and have a seat because that's not going to happen. While I'm all about giving people a second chance, you've got to love yourself enough to understand who is deserving of that precious second chance. And no, the guy who left you down and out is definitely not.
You deserve healthy love
It's always easy to do what is bad for us - to trust when we shouldn't trust, to love when we shouldn't love and so on. However, sometimes it's important to forget how we feel and remember what we deserve. We need to take a moment to think with our minds rather than our hearts. Before you make that call, remember how he showed you where you stand in his life when he turned away. He already showed you that he isn't worthy of your love when he walked out of your life.
You had a good reason for letting him go
You got together, gave it a try and it didn't work out. Some people simply don't go together. You may still have feelings for this person, but it doesn't change the fact that you are not as compatible as you first imagined — or that you may now be relapsing to imagine. If you let your ex-go once, let him go forever.
The trust you had is now lost
Trust is incredibly important in a relationship and without it, any union is doomed. Once it's broken, it is difficult to construct and even more difficult to put it back together. Do you want to be in a relationship where the trust is lacking and you're never 100 percent sure that your partner won't turn and run from you? I'm sure not.
The only way is forward
If you want a new, different, better life, don’t go looking for it in your past. You weren't the person you wanted to be back then and won't be that person now. Moving backwards will only increase the time it will take you to move forward. Let go or be dragged along.
Recognise what's good for you
Love and relationships come with a learning curve. You have to be the right person, in the right place in your life in order to be able to love someone truly. Being capable of falling in love deeply and truly doesn't just rely on the other person; it also relies heavily on you. The only way to learn about love is to love more. Investing time in a new person will tell you more and more about yourself and how you love. Sometimes we get it right the first time and sometimes we need a couple of tries before we're bound to meet the right person. So instead of constantly running back to what broke you, embrace new connections. There's really nothing wrong with that.
You don't need extra baggage
Emotional baggage in a relationship is the last thing you want. And while the baggage becomes lighter with time and older memories are whitewashed by new ones, the problem is, when you do decide to get back together with an ex, your baggage seems to start gaining weight! All those bad memories you had of fights, all those things that annoyed you about the person and all the things you did to hurt each other will all come back. Before you know it, you'll be back to square one!
Sometimes, we hold onto yesterday so tight in fear of what tomorrow may bring. What if everything you always dreamed of was waiting for you tomorrow? How many tomorrows would you let pass you by? So love yourself a little harder and fight that feeling. Bigger, real and mad love awaits.