Although it can be difficult, separation anxiety is a normal stage of development for children. Below are my favorite tips to help your little ones adjust and make the process easier.
Find a safe place: When Parker is feeling anxious, we pick a place he can go to just calm down, feel better, and get under control--in his own way. Good options can be as simple as a little corner in the classroom or just outside in the hallway. If you determine this space together, your child will feel like you are partners in this effort.
Help him look forward:Even when Parker was two years old and often hindered by vocabulary, he still understood much more than he could say. I did my best to prepare him for our departure by talking through (slowly) what was going to happen ahead of time. We would talk about where I was going (Mommy is going to work), where he was going (Parker is going to school), and when we would all be back home (at the end of the day
We would also talk through all the details, such as who would be watching him and what his day was going to look like: you are going to have circle time, then a nap, then playtime outside, and then Mommy will come to get you.
Talk about the fun: Instead of focusing on your child's issues, remind him of all the fun he will have during the day and how much you are looking forward to hearing all about it when you return. "Parker, you are so lucky that today you get to play baseball, how fun!" Or, "I think today is movie day, make sure you really watch so you can tell me all about it tonight!"
Try a security object:They call them "lovies" for a reason. Parker has always had a favorite black teddy bear that we bring back and forth to daycare every day. Emily had a blanket, and Megan had a water bottle (don't ask). This security object can be a source of solace and comfort. If it helps, use it!
Part of easing separation guilt is to help get everyone prepared. It doesn't need to be difficult. I just do a few things to make sure my time away goes smoothly.
I make sure the fridge is stocked, there are clean clothes for everyone, and emergency contacts and calendars are updated. Please know, I am not suggesting you do every household task in advance of your departure. In fact, I have an entire chapter dedicated to partnership, and heading out of town is an example of a time where teamwork really takes effect. However, giving thought to these things and developing a plan will help you quell some of your feelings of guilt and make your time away from home easier for everyone.
Samantha Knowles is the author of Working Mom Reviews. Learn more about the latest training program to help men and women to get their bodies back into shape check out Old School New Body. Learn about How to drive your man wild with the new you Melt Your Man's Heart
